We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what unfair expenses they were asked to pay for someone's wedding. Here's what they had to share:
1. "A second cousin (whom I've only met once) sent me a wedding invitation complete with a gift registry. Seems normal, right? Well...this tactless person had designated three gift options for each invitee. Not only could you see her full registry, but she also had it written on the card in NEON PURPLE PEN what your specific three options were, and you were NOT allowed to deviate. My cheapest option was a $500 contribution to her honeymoon, and the most expensive was a stationary exercise bike that cost around $800!"
"THEN I had a bridesmaid call me at the halfway mark to 'check in' on my gift purchase. I didn't RSVP and purposely strung her along by being noncommittal through a family member (which the bride tolerated because she wanted that gift) until the day of her wedding. Then I simply did not show up after throwing off that headcount. So yeah. I gave the gift of pettiness instead. Girl, bye."
2. "My girlfriend's son and fiancé are expecting us to pay for their photographer. They found one for five hours, and they would only charge us $2,500. They believe that we should be able to afford it easily because I make 'good money.' Reality is going to hit them hard real soon."
3. "My best friend had a college roommate who got engaged and wanted all the roommates to be her bridal party. Not only did she ask them to pay for the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, and matching jewelry, which added up to about $850, but she was getting married in Hawaii, and they were also expected to pay for their rooms, flight, and anything else (food, etc.). My friend was not making all that much money and didn’t have a family who could help her out, so she told her friend that she wasn’t able to come but that she would come to her bachelorette party instead to celebrate her. She was upset but eventually calmed down and said okay."
"Then, a few weeks later, they get the text from the maid of honor with the plans for the bachelorette party…yeah, it was in Vegas. At the Aria, they were all splitting a suite. We lived in Philadelphia. My poor friend ended up dropping close to $4,000 on that trip, and she didn’t drink any alcohol and ate the cheapest, bare-minimum food. They haven’t spoken since."
4. "For the bachelorette trip, we were going to Vegas for four days at one of the most expensive hotels on the Strip. We spent an entire day dedicated to following her around in matching outfits and watching her shop for shoes at the most expensive shops, where we were asked not to wear white tennis shoes even though we were walking for miles. In addition, we had to buy multiple show tickets without any say in the cost and hire a limo to pick us up and take us around the Strip. Then, for the bridal party, we were not given the option to forgo paying for hair and makeup and had to select from preapproved looks. We were also required to purchase silver jewelry (gold was not allowed, despite her knowing that most of her 'friends' solely wore gold), have nude nails, and wear black shoes, and I was even asked to remove a nose piercing (which I didn't do) that I had recently spent good money on because she didn't want it in pictures."
"This on top of normal wedding costs like bridesmaid dresses, alterations, travel, gifts, etc. Oh, and then she asked for my plus-one back, so it's not as if I could split some of the costs with someone. All of this just to have the wedding look like a boring 2012 Pinterest board."
—Anonymous
5. "Literally everything. I was asked by a friend from grad school to be her bridesmaid. After clarifying what that entailed, I accepted. After that, I started receiving messages from her maid of honor and childhood best friend. Suddenly the bachelorette party became a destination event. We were informed that we were expected to pay for the bride's portion of the party, which included all food, drink, transportation (including her airfare), and her share of the Airbnb, which had to have a pool. Half of the bridesmaids were broke, some even in literal debt, and the bride was aware of their financial situations. When I suggested that maybe she should contribute to the costs, she responded with, "You expect me to pay for something?!"
"And then she proceeded to blame her maid of honor and childhood best friend for their personal debt. Not long after, I realized that she'd only asked me because I could afford it, and I was there to offset the cost. I backed out after the bachelorette trip, where not only did I blow my budget for being a bridesmaid, but the bride also ate my food, and not once did she open her wallet. I realized that I couldn't be friends with someone who prioritized a party over the well-being of her closest friends. So I backed out of being her bridesmaid and ended our friendship when she gave me an ultimatum: Either I continued as a bridesmaid or we were no longer friends. I don't do ultimatums."
—Anonymous
6. "The invitation card was mailed, stating that the location would be at this beautiful venue, but at the bottom of the card, it stated, 'Admission fee $700.' I ignored it because the bride was my cousin, so I assumed I wouldn’t have to pay, since we’re family. Long story short, I wasn’t allowed in, and to this day, my cousin is upset that I didn’t come to her wedding. It's kind of crazy because she knew I was going through financial issues (in debt from college). I later found out from some other guests that they made you pay for anything you ate. Well, I’m glad I refused to pay to get in because one year later, they got divorced."
—Anonymous
7. "My mom had a high school best friend who was getting married on March 5, 2022. My mom was invited to be a bridesmaid. The months leading up to the wedding were crazy. My mom got her dress (which she had to pay for), and it was not very cheap at all. But she and the other bridesmaids didn’t say anything. It was all smooth sailing until three weeks before the wedding. The bride asked all bridesmaids to send her a picture of how they planned to come to the wedding. (I forgot to mention that her wedding was in a different state, and my mom also had to pay for a ticket.) When the bride got the pictures, I guess she had a change of heart and wanted all the bridesmaids to have the same hairstyle."
"My mom had just recently cut her hair short and didn’t have enough hair to get the style. The bride sent her links for wigs that were way too expensive. It wouldn’t have been a problem if my mom hadn’t already paid for so much. My mom and two other bridesmaids told the bride that they could not get that hairstyle. She ended up uninviting them and cutting them off, my mom included. So now my mom has a $1,800 dress in her closet that she never wore."
—Anonymous
8. "Not even joking, because I couldn't afford to lay out $3,000–$4,000 to attend her WEEKDAY wedding in another state and travel solo to do so (at barely 20, I had never traveled to another state on my own, and the very thought was terrifying), my friend of almost 13 years basically wrote me off."
—Anonymous
9. "I'm attending an upcoming wedding of a childhood friend. They put a QR code on the invite. I thought it was for RSVP or something. Turns out it’s their registry, and the cheapest thing on there is a single $85 pan, with the most expensive items reaching triple digits. I got tired of scrolling and gave up around the $500 mark."
—Anonymous
10. "They wanted me to pay for a hotel room in their wedding block. I live in the city where they’re getting married. I paid almost half of my monthly rent for two nights in a hotel in a city where I already live."
—Anonymous
11. "A family member expected me to take photos for her wedding. I am not a professional photographer; I mostly take photos of my own family occasionally. She wanted me to capture moments of the bridal party and groom's party getting ready, as well as during the ceremony, family photos, reception shots, and more. In addition, she expected me to edit the photos. Essentially, she wanted me to fulfill the role of a professional photographer, complete with assistants, without compensation. She mentioned having professional photographer friends but wanted them to enjoy the wedding as guests. Even though I was her family and was invited as a guest along with my husband and children, she was upset and rude when I politely declined, expressing discomfort with the request. I believe karma will catch up to her."
—Anonymous
12. "I didn’t realize how much this 'friend' made us bridesmaids pay for her wedding until she was giving me tips for mine after she said she wasn’t going. Okay, so for the hair, instead of her paying a discounted rate for the party, she made us cover the extra charge so she would get hers for free — both the consultation and the day of styling. Regarding lodging, we were required to stay at a block that wasn’t cheaper, and later, we discovered that her room price was divided among all of us. In addition, her wedding dress was subsidized by us when we purchased our terribly colored dresses from the same store."
—Anonymous
13. And lastly, "Serial bridesmaid here. Anytime the bride expects the bridesmaids to cover the majority of expenses for the bachelorette weekend (because it's always a weekend now), including accommodation, dinners, Ubers, and more, it's a bit much. You don't get a free vacation just for getting engaged, girl. Bridesmaids can take turns buying the bride a drink, and that should be it. Also, there's the issue of unpaid labor. At each wedding I've been in, I've been asked to help set up, tear down, and load cars, on top of running around for the bride all day. I'm tempted to start charging for my services."
