It's BUDGET DAY! The excitement was palpable from the word go.
My budget preview - if you can be arsed http://t.co/cVKXbTSR9n
The day began with George Osborne quite literally promising to give us all a stronger pound.
Today I will deliver a Budget for a resilient economy - starting with a resilient pound coin
Twitter was really excited and positive about it.
@George_Osborne suck my 12-sided dick.
@George_Osborne how am I supposed to hire a trolly from the supermarket now?
To be honest all of BuzzFeed's alternatives were better.
Craiiiig David.
Anyway, Labour quickly launched its attempt at a viral attack.
Our #Primeminister would've #responded but was #busy showing he #doesnt really get #hashtags.
Another significant fall in unemployment is a sign our #LongTermEconomicPlan is working, providing security & chances #ForHardworkingpeople.
Due to an autocorrect today's #Budget will really help hard wanking people.
But then someone made this, which was either awful or amazing depending on how you see it.
Before his statement, Osborne pledges to 'squeeze out the lumpen proletariat'. #Budget2014 @HuffPostUKCom @ThePoke
This, by contrast, was just inevitable.
wow......so fiscal #budget2014
But on the whole things were improving.
♫ I want to get fiscal, fiscal, I want to get fiscal, lets get into fiscal, let me hear your budget talk ♫
The fact nothing much was happening obviously didn't stop the media coverage from being ridiculous.
The BBC is covering #Budget2014 with a helicopter - just in case it ends in a high speed car chase.
Then Adam Boulton thought this was a good idea for some reason.
Not a very pretty #Budget2015 selfie. Osborne & Co behind me wouldn't pose
(Always remember to check your Boulton is correctly inflated before broadcast).
Then there was a lot of chatter about George Osborne "pulling a rabbit out of his hat" but no one knew what it was or what it meant.
By now it was time for the Chancellor to show off his red box, which is never awkward.
Especially when everyone buggers off while he's having his moment.
It was getting near speech time, and everyone was rooting for George.
A more honest Budget campain poster, from George Osborne #budget2014 @ThePoke
He opened up with a solid gold ZINGER, apparently.
Magna Carta 'fells unimaginably distant. A weak leader, who came to the top after betraying his brother, running a gang of unruly barons...'
Ok.
That Magna Carta joke was v Osborne, his brand of humour
Really.
Didn't see the Magna Carta gag at Miliband's expense coming. Good stuff #Budget2014
The opposition were captivated.
There now follows a breakdown of the important bits of the Chancellor's speech.
It will be illustrated by increasingly less relevant GIFs.
Bingo duty halved to 10% / Tax on fixed odds betting terminals raised to 25%.
Duty on Scotch whisky to be frozen/Beer duty to be cut by 1p a pint.
That's a whole £1.30 a year, people.
And changes to the welfare cap, a new ISA and a change to the higher rate tax threshold all of which will have to be represented with this GIF.
Ed Miliband then got up and attacked the Chancellor while Nick Clegg talked to Danny Alexander about the state of the ceiling in the House of Commons.
Let's just take a moment to acknowledge Deputy Speaker Lindsay Hoyle was quite funny although the bar was pretty low.
Let's hope @Ed_Miliband has been checking Twitter and so knows exactly what to think about the budget, instantly
Anyway, he evidently had. And that was the 2014 Budget.
