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23 Problems All Scorpios Will Understand

Sorry we're intense and sexy.

1. Your Scorpio independence makes it really hard to ask for help when you need it.

2. You've felt the strain of pretending to be happy for someone when they succeed.

3. Some people might call you "stubborn," but you prefer "determined."

4. You don't know what an innocent crush feels like because you jump from "mild attraction" to "I wanna do bad things with you" in two seconds flat.

5. Your self-image vacillates between "I'm the best" and "I'm the worst" with almost nothing in between.

What is this "moderation" you speak of?

6. Sometimes your feelings don't make a ton of sense.

7. You've had to dial down your excitement about something because no one else seems as pumped about it as you.

YES THERE IS PIZZA FOR LUNCH TODAY AND I— have completely neutral feelings on this topic. Whatever.

8. You have a shit list comprised of people who insulted you or pissed you off exactly once.

9. You've lost friends over a group project because you can't deal with other peoples' ideas.

10. You often identify with the villains more than the heroes.

11. Whenever your friends talk about Hogwarts they always sort you in Slytherin.

12. Your amazing memory ensures that every tiny failure, no matter how small or long ago, haunts you to this day.

13. That same good memory also means you've pretended to forget things so people don't think you're weird.

14. Waiting is not your strong suit and it never will be.

15. Scorpios are characterized as tempestuous balls of emotions but you're actually a very logical person.

16. People accuse you of being "intimidating."

17. You've worked really hard to reach some goal but immediately gotten bored the second you achieved it.

18. There comes a point in every argument when you completely tune out, so your opponent incorrectly assumes they've "won."

19. "Constructive" criticism means nothing to you.

20. Your default is brutal honesty and that's not always okay. Apparently.

21. You're the friend everyone trusts to make decisions, but if something goes wrong it's automatically your fault.

22. And of course, your birthday either gets caught up in pre-Halloween madness...

23. ...or is roped in with Thanksgiving.