The Weeknd Dropped Two New Songs Last Night

    Are you ready for a sexy Weeknd? Get it? (Cue slow clap) Ha..ha..ha...

    The Weeknd posted two new songs — "Kiss Land" and "John Carpenter" — in a video to YouTube last night.

    View this video on YouTube

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    The songs are from the singer's upcoming album, Kiss Land, and the entire thing clocks in at 7 minutes and 41 seconds.

    It's what you'd expect from the mysterious Abel Tesfaye — moody, dark, filthy, troubling, sexy — but turned up four notches. "Kiss Land"'s twinkling backdrop and drum beat is punctuated by the horror-movie screams of a woman, which just adds to the building tension, given the extremely dominant overtones that Tesfaye channels:

    'Cause the only thing you're taking is your clothes off
    Go 'head girl, strip it down, close your mouth
    I just wanna hear your body talk

    The second (and more exciting) half, "John Carpenter," shows him simultaneously boasting about his excess and self-policing his exploits.

    Been gone for so long, I might've just found God
    Well, probably not, if I keep my habits up
    Probably not, if I can't keep up with lovin'
    And I can't stand talkin' to brand new girls
    Only bitches down to fuck when you shower them with ones
    Probably not, if my niggas round 'em up
    Probably not, if we take 'em to my spot
    Probably not, if I tweak all day, just to sleep at night

    It's pretty much impossible to avoid this getting stuck in your head.

    "Have a good weekend! Make good choices, guys."