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1. A pair of cut-resistant gloves to protect your clumsy hands from getting sliced up.
2. A helpful book that understands your growing pains and guides you through the hazards of being an adult.
3. An eye makeup corrector because you spend enough time trying to fix your slip-ups without starting from scratch.
4. An instant pot that will pretty much cook dinner for you.
5. An embroidered patch to let everyone know that (at the very least) you're trying.
6. A streamer that's way easier to use than an iron so you can stop putting holes in your clothing.
7. A citrusy pill dispenser for people who can never remember to take their pills — or maybe they already took them...?
8. A lip putty that helps your lipstick go on smooth even though you can't seem to keep your lips from chapping.
9. A frosting dispenser to give you perfectly iced cupcakes because those frosting bags are way too unwieldy.
10. Or a batter dispenser for people who struggle to get evenly sized cupcakes or pancakes.
11. A notepad that will help you with your greatest weakness: making a damn decision.
12. A laundry chart to hang above your washer and dryer because there are too many damn symbols!!!
13. A ~Nifty~ planner that will help you organize your life and stop stressing out.
14. A touchless stationary vacuum for people who could never quite nail the dustpan.
15. A scooper that grabs your pet's poop, bags it, and dumps it, all while you keep it at a safe distance.
16. A cutting board with engraved guides so julienning your veggies can finally be in your (limited) cooking skillset.
17. An egg cooker that says "sigh, OK I'll make those eggs for you, idiot."
18. A vitamin subscription service for people who are kind of the worst at remembering to eat balanced meals. My fellow "cupcake for breakfast" people need this!
19. A washable keyboard that will save you a lot of money in the long run, seeing how many coffee-drenched keyboards end up in your trash.
20. A bottle of liquid, peeling latex — paint it around your nail before applying your nail polish. No matter how sloppy you are, your manicure will always look neat when you pull away the latex guard.
21. A hardy phone case that's even waterproof, because dropping your phone is a daily occurrence.
22. An outdoor chair you can inflate with one fluid motion, because those lil' pumps tucker you out.
23. Under-eye patches that offer a fool-proof guard for making crisp eye shadow lines, no matter how clumsy you are with a makeup brush.
24. A set of clip-on lenses to take your sub-par phone pics to the next level. Hellooo double-digit Instagram likes.
25. A drawer liner that forces you to stay organized. It has slots for everything, so you can't let your storage space slip back into chaos.
26. A tube of Boy Brow you can count on to shape and smooth your brows with a simple swipe of the wand. What could be easier?
27. A cute flower that helps you thread needles because a stitch in time saves you from nine freak-outs.
28. And a pennant flag pin so you can let your average flag fly.
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