1.
When someone pokes you.
2.
When someone asks why you didn't accept their friend request.
3.
When you get 1,000 birthday messages.
4.
When people write multi-paragraph political commentary.
5.
When you check in on how your old high school friends lives are.
6.
When that bar-crawl group you joined in college starts messaging you again.
7.
When someone tags you in a drunk photo.
8.
When you realize there are lots of old people on Facebook.
9.
When Facebook asks for your phone number and emails.
10.
When your parents friend you.
And your mom instantly writes on your wall.
And then they begin liking everything you ever posted.
11.
And when your pre-teen relative finds you on Facebook.
And this is what they find out about you:
12.
When anyone tries to hit on you via FB messenger.
And when that person is your ex.
13.
When you find the profile of the your ex's new boyfriend/girlfriend.
14.
When you are creeping on someone and you accidentally "like" one of their photos.
15.
When creepers you have never met start commenting on your updates.
16.
When Facebook makes you lose your faith in humanity.
17.
When your boss friends you.
19.
When people message you their random thoughts throughout the day.
20.
When people invite you to like fan pages about themselves.
21.
When you see a selfie.
22.
When someone starts live posting the scores of sporting events.
23.
When people post extremely emotional, attention-seeking, depressing statuses.
24.
When you decide to start de-friending people you don't know.
And then someone de-friends you.
25.
When no one "likes" your new photo.
26.
When endless, obnoxious graduation photos destroy your news feed.
27.
When someone you're kind of seeing asks you to be in a relationship.
28.
When someone you don't know invites you to their birthday party.
29.
When ANYONE posts ANY intimate details about their pregnancy.
30.
You come up with a very witty status update.
And then you misspell a word.
31.
When you watch people ruin their lives on Facebook.
And when you find out so much more about a person than you ever wanted to know.
32.
Your productivity at work/school meets the facebook panda
33.
When people ask you why you're not updating anymore.
So you tell everyone you're moving to Tumblr.
And then you find out Yahoo is buying Tumblr.
