7 Things Every Post-Grad Goes Through

Like many people my age, I graduated college this past May (cue the round of applause and party horns). I knew the "real world" was going to be tough, and I'm just out here trying to find my dream job right out of college (delusional? Maybe). I realize my dreams are as big as the cookie I ate yesterday, but I refuse to give into "the man" (I still don't know what that means) and settle for a job that just pays the bills. ENDLESS BILLS. Well over the past few months of attempting to reach my goals, I've come across a few obstacles. I KNOW I'm not the only one that has gone through these “in-your-face” life lessons, so let me enlighten you.

1. You start watching TV shows that make you feel better about your life.

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My go-to TV show to binge watch when I need to feel better about myself is "2 Broke Girls." I mean, Caroline sleeps in the wall, and Max’s boyfriend lives in a dumpster. My life isn’t THAT depressing.

2. You start washing your own car because its cheaper.

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I know a car wash cost like ten dollars, but it's significantly more expensive than buying your own soap and sponge and getting your whip fresh n' clean all on your own (you go girl…or guy). Here’s a tip: Don't make the mistake of washing your car without a hose… just take my word for it (you live and you learn, right?).

3. You get drunk at home because you can’t afford a $10 Martini at the bar.

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Now this one isn’t SO bad. It’s almost nostalgic really. Getting drunk off of an $8 bottle of vodka brings us all back to our pre 21-year-old days, when it was OK to make poor decisions, and cry over a boy while throwing up in a bush (please tell me I’m not the only one).

4. Netflix becomes your best friend.

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Cable is out the window, now that you have no money, because you have no job (sorry to rub it in). So you pay the $7.99 a month to be able to spend your days binge watching TV shows you’re not even sure you like. I can’t even tell you how many shows I’ve watched that just leave me confused and bored. Why do we all fall into the Netflix abyss?

5. You use social media to make other people believe you have your shit together.

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We are ALL guilty of this. Spending ten minutes editing a photo and coming up with a clever caption, so that your followers think you are cool as a cucumber, when you are really just a jobless human being with $30 in your bank account. But if the fleeting moment of assessing all the “likes” your photo received helps you sleep at night, then by all means, keep fooling all of us.

6. You don’t buy anything unless it’s on sale.

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When shopping online you use Retail Me Not to find any coupon code that cuts your total in half. And five dollars for shipping? Forget about it, I’ll purchase my cheap, trendy clothes from another website that gets what it’s like to be a post-grad. I recently purchased three of the same shirt (different colors of course), because they were four dollars each. FOUR DOLLARS you guys. That’s less than a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks (which is definitely out of the question on a post-grad budget).

7. You realize you just DGAF.

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You want your dream job (NOW), and you are going to do anything to get it. You send emails to anyone with pull, informing them of how amazing you are. You stalk all the top execs on LinkedIn, hoping you share a connection. You hit up your former roommate’s second cousin, because they know someone with an “in”. Because the real world doesn’t need you to be coy, it needs you to have gusto and passion. You have to know what you want, and go for it, no matter how many times you get rejected. Because all the people you envy and look up to in the working world have once too, been a post-grad.