1."It is colossally indulgent, shapeless, often fantastically and unthinkingly offensive and at all times insufferably conceited. " - Peter Bradshaw
2.DOESN'T MATTER.
3."...a risible slab of Detroit gothic that marks an altogether inauspicious writing-directing debut for Ryan Gosling." - Justin Chang
4.DOESN'T MATTER.
5."Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut, "Lost River," is the most enthusiastically derided entry so far at this year’s Cannes Film Festival" - - Richard Corliss
6.DOESN'T F'N MATTER
7."The whole project has the smell of called-in favours." - Robbie Collin
8.WHO CARES?!
9."Gosling’s original screenplay spins on relatively opaque characters." - Todd McCarthy
10.SO?!?!
11.""Lost River" offers up a sad and broken view of a sad and broken place..." - Drew McWeeny
12.MEHHHHHHHH
13."The film is ultimately kind of juvenile and dumb, and there are more moments where you'll roll your eyes rather than inwardly applauding." - Oliver Lyttelton
14.LOL DON'T CARE.
15."Ryan Gosling’s heavily-hyped directorial debut turns out to be an over-cooked affair that lacks much needed wit and humour to go alongside its self-aware art intentions." - Mark Adams
16.HAHAHA SO WHAT?!?!
17."This snazzy but forgettable vanity project" - Eric Kohn
18.PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT
19.IT DON'T MATTER but if you're REALLY bothered by the reviews then just...
