Hello, welcome to this week's edition of The White House Apprentice.
We now have a new White House chief of staff, Gen. John Kelly, who promised to restore order to the Trump administration.
Shortest serving Comms Director fired after ousting shortest serving Chief of Staff. Apprentice White House edition is rough this season.
His first move: immediately firing White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci about a week after he started. You know, the guy who called Steve Bannon a cocksucker.
we're living in the worst reality show of all time
Cue the new White House anthem:
[barenaked ladies voice] it's been... one week
After news broke that The Mooch was no more, time stopped, coffee spilled, people gasped, laughed, cried, laugh-cried.
@GlennThrush
Concerned Laughter is now our national language
OVERHEARD: Collective gasps followed by a smattering of laughter in the Senate press gallery as the Mooch news broke.
It was emotional.
Goodbye, Long Island’s Rose
Anthony "The Mooch" #Scaramucci, White House Communications Director (July 26, 2017 - July 31, 2017). *we'll alway… https://t.co/2LynmIp62B
Everyone was shocked that The Mooch was leaving us so soon, since he literally hadn't even started his job yet.
Technically, he didn't even reach his start date, which I think was August 15. He had negative days of employment. https://t.co/cjYKxjRJF3
There are people who went off the grid for ten days who will never know who The Mooch was.
mooch's direct deposit didn't even kick in yet
He apparently can't even attend the Comms Directors Reunion, which I'm sure is off the hook.
Unfortunately for the Mooch, the minimum tenure to get invited to the annual WH Comms Directors Reunion is 3 weeks
And he had big, big plans for his future.
"I will eliminate everyone in the comms team and we’ll start over,” @Scaramucci said to @RyanLizza last week.… https://t.co/BirZUNSs8u
People were shocked by the savagery.
Scaramucci removed after only ten days? Sorry Game Of Thrones DEMOCRACY HAS MORE DRAMA
The Mooch didn't even make it to hometowns.
The tribe has spoken again https://t.co/GheipiituQ
Since he had given up a few ~minor~ things to join the team.
Do you think Scaramucci regrets deleting all those tweets, selling his company, getting divorced, and missing the birth of his child?
People marveled at all the things that have lasted longer than The Mooch's White House career, like a cold, a Kardashian marriage, and Tinder hookups.
Talk to your doctor today and find out how you too can get rid of the mooch in just 10 days
Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries was 7x longer than Anthony Scaramucci's tenure in the White House.
I've had Tinder hook-ups that lasted longer than the Mooch
They looked back at all that he had accomplished.
.@Scaramucci Chin up! You accomplished a lot in your first 100 seconds.
an anthony scaramucci retrospective
And now, a look back on Scaramucci's full time as White House communications director:
well it certainly did not get old https://t.co/fr7VFLot6M
And mourned the memories we will never have. #RIP.
I guess Scaramooch will not do the fandango! 💃🏿 #scaramucci #scaramooch #mooch #themooch #breakingnews
SNL writers respond the Trump firing the Mooch before the season starts.
Hopefully, he will take those sweet shades and luscious locks to other screens.
Ayyy I'm hea to apply for da communications directa position, name's uh Antonio Bonaducci
Like Dancing With the Stars.
Dancing With the Stars roster is getting full. Spicer, Priebus, and Scaramucci are gonna have to compete as a trio, "The Trumpeteers".🕺🏼🕺🏻🕺🏻
Or this much-needed remake of a classic rom-com.
It's been real, Mooch. Goodnight, and good luck.
