As lovely as it would be to meet someone whose favorite author is ALSO Vladimir Nabokov, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. And if they're available between the times of 7pm to 9pm tonight within a five-block radius of NoLita - it's totally on!
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.