If I had to intake a calorie for every time I saw a news story or blog post about some outrageous food item, well...let's just say my mom might have to disown me.
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.