I met Santa at a party in New York once. And you know what? He was a totally self-absorbed prick, actually. He was all Santa-this, Santa-that, constantly worried about promoting the Santa "brand."
Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.