Step 1: take tests from K-12 in a terrifying world dominated by mean children while doing arbitrary assignments.
Step 2: fork over tens of thousands of dollars for a name-brand college. Major in something lucrative or else risk never being able to pay back student loans.
Step 3: pay your dues by doing years of underpaid labor in an expensive city.
Step 4: spend most of your waking life working in an office (if you're lucky).
Step 5: buy a home.
Step 6: brag about all that at a wedding, family gathering, or reunion.
OR YOU CAN: Move to a cheap city where you can get by on a part-time job. Live peacefully. Smooch the ones you love.
