1. First dates must always take place in deserted swimming pools under the cover of darkness.
Because everyone loves making out in cold water for hours on end.
2. Intentionally spilling something on a rival might sound like a good way to get revenge, but in practice it just looks awkward.
3. Time moves at ½ speed in a high school corridor...
4. ... even for the boys.
5. There's always one black guy at the party, and he's normally Sean Patrick Thomas.
6. High school cafeterias operate a strict one-clique-per-table seating system.
7. It takes approximately 0.27 seconds for the average teenager to fall in love.
8. No teen house party is complete without at least $100 worth of red plastic cups.
9. It's easier than you would think to accidentally consume semen.
10. And no wonder. Masturbation is an exceedingly popular teen pastime.
11. Even though it's almost impossible to get any privacy.
12. Clear vision is important...
... but not as important as the instant credibility that comes with taking your glasses off.
13. Teenagers don't make the best lyricists.
14. Or artists.
15. The bathroom is an emotional place for Robin Tunney.
16. Everywhere is an emotional place for Devon Sawa.
17. Natasha Lyonne spends a lot of time vomiting.
18. Renée Zellweger and Joey Lauren Adams are definitely twins.
19. All jocks are gay until proven otherwise.
20. Whereas everyone you think is a lesbian…
… is actually straight.
21. People have no respect for multiple choice exams.
22. Computers are either extremely sinister…
… or completely ridiculous.
23. Your deepest, darkest secrets are likely to be photocopied hundreds of times and handed out to the entire student body.
24. Foreign exchange students are all Sports Illustrated models.
25. No high school prom is complete without a semi-famous rock band in attendance.
(The same goes for graduation parties.)
26. But that doesn't mean that the hundreds of professional dancers in the audience are going to be upstaged.
27. After all, the world may freeze and fade to black at any moment.
28. But not before we've had our fill of product placement.
