1. It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...
2. Who is this Rorschach guy?
3. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
4. René Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks if he wants anything.
5. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar...
6. Yo momma's so classless...
7. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
8. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on.
9. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings...
10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
11. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Do all of you want a drink?"
12. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
13. What's the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?
14. The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony meant.
15. There are two types of people in this world:
16. An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative.
17. A photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.
18. Your momma is so mean...
19. I'm thinking about selling my theremin...
20. What does the "B" in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?
21. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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