20 More Unbelievably Obnoxious And Petty Subtleties At Sarah Lawrence College

Go Gryphons.

1. Teachers are allowed to bang students but staff isn't.

This is ironic because they're both getting paid pretty much the same salary.

2. Reading the Sarah Lawrence Phoenix is the emotional equivalent of masturbating with sand paper

Everyone knows that students with a real thirst for news listen to Lifeline.

3. When you go to Bates after 2:00 and there's nothing to eat

4. There are never any fist fights.

5. Everyone goes completely batshit crazy second semester and takes medical leave, costing their parents tens of thousands of dollars

"I was going through a tough time."

6. This one freshman who looks like a beady-eyed narcissistic badger with a fetish for nipple clamps.

This is where your measly financial aid went.

7. There's a lot of talk about dismantling the patriarchy but never any actual solutions.

8. You're not sure if you're an alcoholic or not.

There's a party at Rossmore and that's a rare treat.

9. The Game of Thrones power struggle that is student senate.

Now that's a coup if I've ever seen one. Oddly reminiscent of Roose Bolton's betrayal to the Stark's.

10. When that sketchy kid in your fiction workshop likes you on Tinder.

11. Theatre Kids

They have a nauseating amount of enthusiasm towards useless things... like theatre.

12. Whenever people downplay their privilege and romanticize the concept of poverty out of guilt for their opulent upbringings.

"I was born poor."

13. Milos Romanos

Enough. Just stop.

14. Whenever you have to meet with Paige Crandall and aren't sure which story you're sticking to.

15. When you see people you know in Health Services.

16. Incestuous bisexual love triangles that get really dark.

17. The expressions on straight white males faces when their race and sexual orientation are called into question by angry liberal feminists.

They literally just bite their tongue and don’t engage in the conversation because they know they’re in the wrong no matter what.