You've most likely heard of this place called the Amazon.
The Amazon is a rainforest in South America and it's big enough to be its own country.
Don't let that fool you, though. Most of them would MURDER you in the FACE if given the chance. Like the jaguar.
Or the green anaconda, which slithers around the Amazon waiting to pop you like a zit.
But the real mayor of Nightmareville is the black caiman, the Amazon's largest predator.
Because the Amazon is full of oversized bullies, smaller creatures had to evolve to stay on their toes.
This monkey-fish has been known to leap out of the water and take down small birds, because fuck you, he's hungry.
Poison dart frogs may be the size of a button and just as cute, but they'll KILL a bitch with no remorse.
The most deadly of the dart frogs is the Golden Poison Frog, which secretes enough poison to stop the hearts of 20 men (or 10,000 mice, according to Wikipedia. I feel bad for whoever had to fact-check that last bit).
Seriously, even the PLANTS in the Amazon would love the chance to end you.
The craziest part is scientists estimate that a new species is discovered every three days in the Amazon.
Basically, the Amazon is the original Thunderdome, but with less places to hide.
And despite all of this, PEOPLE LIVE THERE.
So anytime you think your life is hard, just remember there's a 4-year-old child whose neighbor is a frickin' puma.
