Skip To Content

    Literally Just 26 Really Funny Tweets From Mark Hoppus

    Tweet-182.

    1.

    2.

    I love you, but not "look up from my phone" love you.

    3.

    [to the tune of the Hot Pockets jingle] "🎤Mark Hoppus🎤"

    4.

    If we allow a female to become president, what's next? Female doctors? Female race car drivers? Female mothers?! Female women?!

    5.

    Here's the thing about stuff: Hell. No.

    6.

    7.

    8.

    HOW DOES CHEWBACCA KNOW WHERE TO STOP SHAVING HIS PUBIC HAIR?!

    9.

    10.

    ten minutes into blink-182 and chill and he gives you this look.

    11.

    12.

    You can have my hands when you pry them from my cold, dead wrists.

    13.

    Girl at the rock show: What? Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    14.

    It's getting less and less likely that in my life I will have the opportunity to vomit into an active volcano.

    15.

    Don't fuck with someone taking a photo with their iPad because they're already at rock bottom and have nothing left to lose.

    16.

    Don't waste Your time On me You're all sweaty And gross inside my bed

    17.

    Here’s my brother Gene who we haven’t seen in years since he moved away we miss you call me 📞

    18.

    Hi I'm Mark. My wife is shopping and I'm standing here trying not to look like an asshole and it's not working.

    19.

    [leaves you on *read* for three hours]

    20.

    Someone a few houses over is having a party. I can hear the music and laughter and people enjoying themselves. I'm calling the damn cops.

    21.

    [logging into twitter 2012]: Do you have any updog? [logging into twitter 2017]: Does our beloved republic still stand?

    22.

    The clown emoji is worse than when my parents got divorced.

    23.

    if i ever die please make sure my funeral has a fire snapchat filter.

    24.

    For Halloween I'm going as "Dractually," a mansplaining vampire. ⚰️

    25.

    woman behind me at this restaurant is laughing saying she never orders french fries but always eats her boyfriend's and i'm boiling w rage.

    26.

    Roses are red Violets are blue Garlic bread blink-182

    Thumbnail image: Getty / Alberto E. Rodriguez