Because lipstick gets all over your teeth and makes you look like you've been munching on human body parts.
Because mascara runs down your face and makes you look like an Alice Cooper groupie.
Because when you go for goth you'll probably get raccoon instead.
Because blush can make it look like you took a 2x4 to the face.
Because blue eyeshadow is harder to pull of than you think.
Because your foundation is always the wrong color and people assume you OD'ed on sunblock.
Because blending is hard work.
Because if you rub your eyes you look like you haven't slept since the '90s.
Because your concealer leaves traces of you everywhere you go.
Because who even knows when you're supposed to end the cat eye. WHO?
Because eyelash curlers are like tiny medieval torture devices.
Because lipliner makes you look like you've been sneaking Oreos.
Because smeared makeup is the stuff of nightmares.
Because glitter exists and it shouldn't.
Because red lipstick in the wrong hands is literally terrifying.
Because clumpy mascara makes you look like you have spiders on/in your eyes.
Because perfecting your eyebrows is too much pressure!
Because makeup causes allergic reactions and breakouts.
Because it will ruin everything you love.
Because it's frickin' expenive!
Because we spend forever putting it on in the morning just so we can take it off at night.
Which is why it would be better to just never wear makeup at all.
