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    11 Ways Shakespeare Would Tell You To F*** Off

    As told by Schmidt from New Girl.

    1. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all!

    2. This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh!

    3. Hang him, swaggering rascal!

    4. Vile worm, thou wast o’erlook’d even in thy birth.

    5. Thou unfit for any place but hell.

    6. I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster!

    7. You peasant swain! You whoreson malt-horse drudge!

    8. You are a tedious fool.

    9. You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!

    10. He is deformed, crooked, old and sere, ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.

    11. You had measured how long a fool you were upon the ground.