I Got Pejazzled And Lived To Tell About It

In which we send a BuzzFeed editor (me) to get his junk waxed and adorned with rhinestones. For science.

1.

Hi, I'm Gavon, the BuzzFeed editor volunteering himself up for the process known as pejazzling. Pejazzling, for those who are unfamiliar, is a portmanteau of "penis" and "bedazzling." Basically, it's a beauty treatment where you get your privates waxed and the hair is replaced by sparkly things. It's the male version of vajazzling ("vagina" and "bedazzling," made famous by none other than Jennifer Love Hewitt).

I'm going to need that glass of wine.

2.

The waiting room of Face to Face Spa in New York City, scene of the pejazzling. The decor is designed to be as soothing and welcoming as possible, calming the nerves of even the most anxious pejazzlee.

3.

Face to Face is owned and operated by aesthetician Enrique Ramirez. He's the guy wearing clothes on the cover of that magazine sitting next to the rather extensive release form.

4.

This little guy is an unofficial mascot of Face to Face. He clearly has never received any hair removal treatments.

5.

The predetermined pejazzle patterns. It's not like a tattoo parlor where you can request your own design. Face to Face offers the above four. (Note that they're all technically for vajazzling. I sense an untapped market!)

6.

This "Enter" sign is their most popular pattern. They only have one left.

7.

Enrique warms the wax in what looks like a tiny crock pot.

8.

Tissues, white wine, lotion and a microdermabrasion machine. Tools of the trade.

9.

Privacy, please, as the pants come off.

10.

In order to provide a blank canvas for the pejazzle, I opt for the item on the waxing menu known as the "marble sac and shaft." It's exactly what you think it is.

11.

The purple wax is applied with a tongue depressor and allowed to harden for a few seconds. It's very warm, but Enrique ensures that it never burns.

12.

Unlike vajazzles, which are typically placed immediately above a woman's groin (hence the "Enter" sign with an arrow pointing down), pejazzles tend to be on a man's bikini line.

13.

With one swift motion, the wax is pulled off. It stings momentarily, but is never intolerable. Although it must be said that some areas involved in the "marble sac and shaft" are more sensitive than others.

14.

I am a hairy gentleman. The used wax looks like the world's grossest Fruit Roll-Up.

15.

The pejazzle is applied much like a temporary tattoo. Unfortunately, since my body is overheated (bright lights to accommodate the photography may have been the culprit — or I was just really nervous and sweating like I had malaria), the adhesive doesn't take on the first two attempts.

16.

Third time's the charm!

17.

Fittingly enough for BuzzFeed, the pejazzle that finally took root was a heart. A broken black heart on my right hip would've been a killer yang to the red heart's yin.

18.

Enrique explains pejazzle maintenance. Proper care of your pejazzle includes: 1) Don't use a loofah or wash cloth for cleaning your pejazzle, as it might prematurely knock off the stones. Your hand and soap will work well enough. 2) Apply Neosporin to the waxed area for two days to prevent infection. 3) Your pejazzle will remain firmly affixed for up to a week, but you can safely pull the stones off with a little bit of effort at any time.

19.

I feel like a new, fancier, textured man. The process wasn't painful in the least. Okay, it was painful in the least. But nothing a real, pejazzled man can't handle! Also, and this can't be emphasized enough, wine really does help.

20.

The finished product. Enrique says that all manner of men get pejazzled, including some grooms who wanted to surprise their wives on their wedding night.

21.

I didn't surprise any brides, but I did surprise my coworkers with news of the pejazzle.

22. Video Of The Pejazzling, If You Dare (Don't Worry, It's Not Graphic)

Photos by Amy Sly.