So you'd like to be a scientist. But what does that really mean?
First, it's important to appreciate the important work that scientists do to benefit society.
There are many sides to science. Science can be absolutely hilarious.
Science can be confusing.
Science can be extremely sexy.
Sometimes, science can be sexy and confusing at the same time.
For this reason, science education is deeply inappropriate for children.
Children should be kept away from science at all costs.
If children are allowed to do science, they will set their faces on fire every time.
Dogs, however, make excellent scientists.
Much important science is conducted while crouching in meadows.
Without science, we would not know what happens when lobsters are submerged into green fluid.
What kind of people make good scientists?
Scientists must have terrible hair.
Scientists are also advised to smoke while they work.
A good scientist always ingests his or her chemical experiments.
Scientists are terrified of microscopes.
Scientists are always stealing mannequins.
Scientists are only in it for the money.
Scientists have excellent posture, and they know it.
Scientists are usually drunk.
Many scientists don't give a damn about their differently coloured fluids.
Sometimes, scientists put on enormous novelty glasses and check an egg for a pulse. When they do not find one, they become sad.
Sometimes they shout "YOLO!"
Scientists frequently consult a large red hen for advice about their research.
Scientists disguise themselves with silly noses and kidnap babies.
Scientists wear wigs and do science to small dogs.
Some scientists want to touch your breasts.
But don't worry, because scientists always wear gloves.
Scientists take off their trousers and inject things into their own bums.
Scientific disagreements are known to escalate quickly.
Congratulations, you're ready to do science!
