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1. 99% of your diet consists of Barbecued meat
2. However the phrase "I'm full" doesn't exist in your family
3. Which is problematic because every family meal could feed a small country
4. So you end up eating leftovers for longer than anyone should have to put up with
5. Family members only have two volumes, loud and louder
6. And there is no such thing as a conversation, only an argument
7. But these arguments contain absolutely no sense of logic or reason
8. Your parents thoroughly interrogate every friend you bring home
9. Arriving at someone's house without food is not an option
10. You have been shaving since you were 12
11. This isn't always gender specific
12. The slightest increase in temperature makes you sweat like someone doing a bikram yoga class in the Sahara Desert
13. Your parents make you feel guilty every time you go out
14. And they must know every last detail about your plans for the night
15. No one in your family can keep a secret for more than 5 seconds
16. Trash talking friends and family is encouraged
17. Embarrassing home videos make regular appearances at family gatherings
18. And family gatherings are often mistaken for block parties
19. Or riots
20. Asking for the remote control might start World War 3
21. Every family game night almost results in a death or two
22. Especially when you play Monopoly, because everyone is a small business owner and wants to assert financial dominance over their relatives
23. Unfortunately Windex does not fix everything
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