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    Michael Moscovitz From "The Princess Diaries" Deserved So Much Better

    I'M STILL NOT OVER IT.

    Hear ye, hear ye! I recently rewatched The Princess Diaries and The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement and I need to get something off my chest.

    It's complete and utter BULLSHIT that Michael Moscovitz is basically forgotten in the sequel and I'm mad as hell.

    Before I can get into it, let's revisit all the things that made Michael Moscovitz (played by Robert Schwartzman) a goddamn dreamboat in the first movie:

    1) He had adorable floppy hair and bangs that made him look like the fifth Beatle:

    2) He was part of an extremely cool band and they even had groupies:

    3) He was into Mia BEFORE Paolo took this and this and gave us a princess, to the point that he freaking fixed her car:

    4) Even though he liked Mia's curly hair, he was nice to her when she had it blown out too and told her it was an "attractive weird":

    5) He had to put up with Lilly, who is honestly annoying AF most of the time:

    6) He inspired Mia to send him this perfect pizza:

    7) He wore a tux (and combed those adorable aforementioned bangs), even though you can tell that's not his thing:

    8) HE GAVE MIA A MAGICAL, FOOT-POPPING KISS:

    9) And, here's a final reminder just in case you forgot, HE SAW HER WHEN SHE WAS INVISIBLE:

    Okay, I'm sorry I went full-on listicle in that tangent but, like Elle Woods would say, I have a point, I promise!

    The point is, after all of those amazing things about Michael Moscovitz, it is so fucking disrespectful that his character was a mere CLIFF NOTE at the beginning of Princess Diaries 2:

    In a voiceover at the beginning of the film — a fucking VOICEOVER — Mia says: "'How's Michael?' you may ask. Well, we're just friends now, as he went off to tour the country with his band."

    And that's fucking it!!!!! 21 words. Two sentences. All that beautiful, sweet, sweet, foot-popping love is just brushed aside like garbage.

    Now, before you come at me in the comments, I know that the line was a "funny" nod to the fact that Robert Schwartzman's band, Rooney, literally was touring the world and that's why he couldn't be in the sequel.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    (They also appeared on The O.C., but that's neither here nor there.)

    But for the love of Fat Louie, we deserved a much better fictional explanation than that!!!!

    And, I get it, Chris Pine is great! He's the 4th best Chris in Hollywood!

    But I only have room in my heart for one Mia Thermopolis love interest and that's Michael Moscovitz 4ever, baby!!!!!

    The End.

    MICHAEL MOSCOVITZ DESERVED BETTER THAN THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2