These Tights Are Still Perfect After Nine Years Of Wear

And you don't even have to wash them on gentle.

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Because I am very intuitive — or because you all are predictable — I know the comments on this one are going to be brutal.

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Because yes, I know it sounds crazy to spend more than $50 on tights. So if you want to go to the bottom of this post and leave a comment about how crazy it is, go ahead. I'll wait.

Okay, everyone back? Great! Listen: I live with two roommates. I don't own a car. I get most of my books from the library. Until I found one for under $10, I considered a computer case an unreasonable expense. I'm not a profligate spender. But friends, these expensive tights are the truth.

In 2008, I bought my first pair of Wolford Matte Opaque 80 Tights, and my fiercest brand loyalty was born.

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The next winter, I bought two more pairs. And...that was it. I have worn the same three pairs of black tights for six cold New York winters and two teeth-chattering Iowa ones. I don't take it easy on tights, either. I have limited spacial awareness, which often leads to grazing rough surfaces, like brick walls and and unfinished wood. I also lived with a rambunctious cat for a few years; the most damage she did to the tights was give them a healthy coating of hair.

Also, every single pair of jeans I own right now has thigh holes, because my body type is "friction-y." My oldest pair of jeans is three years younger than my Wolfords, and I have had the crotch of them patched more than five times. (See! Not a profligate spender.)

The only other pair of black tights I have put on my body since I went Wolford is a pair from Hue that I was gifted with my annual Christmas sock haul. I never wear them — they just can't compare.

Here's a short list of everything I love about these expensive AF tights:

1. They're perfectly opaque and matte. The Hue tights, while totally passable, have a rather shiny look about them when I put them on. The Wolfords have no trace of a shine. The fabric doesn't appear thick, though, or add bulk to my legs.

2. They're comfy! The have a knitted waistband that doesn't dig into my belly.

3. They're super stretchy and haven't lost their shape in nearly a decade.

4. None of them have ever gotten a hole or a snag. Not once! In nine years!

5. They keep my legs warm, even in the dead of winter.

6. I have never once hand-washed them: They go into the machine with everything else. Usually I hang dry them, but I have accidentally put them in the dryer and they're always completely fine.

If you're still thinking, This woman is out of her goddamn mind if she thinks I'm going to spend more than $50 on tights, that is a fair position, and I have good news for you.

nordstromrack.com, pjtra.com

Nordstrom Rack has an extensive collection of Wolford tights, and most of them are in the $20–$30 range. Still expensive — but less expensive! I can't personally vouch for any of these styles, but I am hugely loyal to this brand, and I believe that their products are extremely high quality.

Get them from Nordstrom Rack: the blue fishnets for $22.97 (available in sizes XS and L), the ribbed tights for $32.97 (available in sizes XS–L), the double striped tights in four colors for $24.97+ (available in sizes XS–L), and the single striped tights in four colors for $19.97+ (available in sizes XS–L).

If you want comfortable tights that will look great on your legs for years and years to come, I can't recommend these highly enough.

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Call it an investment in your stems.

Get the Wolford Velvet De Luxe 66 Tights in three colors from Amazon for $47.89–$61 (available in sizes XS–L), or the similarly opaque Velvet Deluxe 66 Tights in six colors for $49 (available in sizes XS–XL).