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    17 Steps To Having A Perfect Textual Relationship

    AKA how to text like a person, a real person.

    1. Avoid "k," "lol," and other one-word responses.

    2. Diffuse sass with a ":)".

    3. Don't drunk text anyone (who isn't a close friend).

    4. Especially if you were fake-drunk texting.

    5. If your romantic interest is unresponsive, LEAVE THEM ALONE OMG.

    6. Find a happy medium between sending a million short texts...

    7. Or a five-paragraph essay.

    8. Abide by the golden rule: If they don't respond after three texts, stop texting.

    9. Always respond to “happy holidays” texts, even if they’re mass-sent.

    10. Emojis are awesome, but use them sparingly.

    11. Use ALL CAPS in moderation.

    12. Cool it with the punctuation.

    13. Internet lingo is so 2004. Please exercise your right to full words.

    14. When texting someone for the first time, always reveal yourself.

    15. PEOPLE WHO DO THIS SHOULD BE JAILED:

    16. If you don't want to talk to someone, just don't respond. Terse one-word responses are way worse:

    17. And most important, no unsolicited dick pics*.