What Twitter Bios Say Vs What They Actually Mean

Views my own.

Dull job followed by list of increasingly bizarre hobbies

Via flickr Jon Åslund / en.wikipedia.org / Jo Barrow

"Bet you've never met an accountant as CRAZY as me. HahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHA. oh god please like me"

All tweets my own. RTs =/= endorsements (journalist)

Via Yuri Samilox flickr/ en.wikipedia.org / Jo Barrow

"My opinions are so well thought out and articulated that you might think that they are those of The Telegraph, but fear not, humble reader, I am just a man."

Tweets my own. RTs not endorsements (everyone else)

Via creative commons / Jo Barrow

"Everyone important had it, I just wanted to fit in."

Desperate soon-to-be graduate

Via Jair Alcon flickr / en.wikipedia.org / Jo Barrow

"Please notice / hire me. Find me manual retweeting the headlines with one word responses. Technically, not a freelance journalist." (See also: future PR/ Politics/ Finance etc)

The Uber-Optimist

Via Claudia Regina flickr/ BK flickr / Jo Barrow

"This bio is the only part of my life I actually have any control of right now."

I do something

Via Emilian Robert Vicol flickr / en.wikipedia.org / Jo Barrow

"I am paid a lot to do this."

Gin Drinker

Via timothy krayse flickr/ creative commons / Jo Barrow

"I don't even like the taste, just the feeling of superiority."

Self-Righteously Aggressive

Via flickr aaron kawai/ Facebook: whoneedsfeminism / Jo Barrow

"This is my warning to you that I will furiously attack you for any perceived infraction of my beliefs." (See also: unapologetic conservative)

Corporate Stooge

Via jseliger2 Flickr/ creative commons / Jo Barrow

"My boss makes me have this account so I am only here to RT company tweets and join in with conference hashtags. #synergy"

Team Followback

Via flickr the photography muse/ flickr zennia abraham / Jo Barrow

"My declarations of love for popstars regularly receive hundreds more RTs than your 'hilarious' social commentary ever will."

Lists

Via flickr phillipe putt / touchstone pictures / Jo Barrow

"This seemingly random, but actually agonisingly curated list of things I like represents the absolute essence of who I am. I don't just like Wes Anderson films. I am Wes Anderson films."

Basic

Via flickr .jocelyn / flickr amberambrose / Jo Barrow

"Oh my god! You love coffee too?! You simply MUST see the filters I've put on my lunch."

The Inspirer

Via flickr garry night / en.wikipedia.org / Jo Barrow

"I like my philosophy in under 140 characters and generated by twitter bots."

OTT Sports Fan

Via flickr steve k / flickr wonker / Jo Barrow

"Sport hooliganism belongs to the internet now."