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Unless you're a hermit, chances are you're going to see your ex this Christmas break. And while the expectation is that you'd walk in looking this this...
and his reaction would be this...
In reality, you're most likely going to end up like this...
Expectation: When you find out your ex is coming home for break, you shrug it off. I mean, you've moved on right?
Reality: Wrong. You grab a friend and drive by his house like a total stalker.
Expectation: You head to the mall and find the perfect, classy outfit.
Reality: You will inevitably buy something entirely too slutty and look like a hot mess.
Expectation: Before going out you decide to have a casual cocktail with your besties.
Reality: You face a bottle of wine. Or two.
Expectation: You strut into the bar with the fierceness of 100 Beyonces.
Reality: You make it three steps before eating sh*t entirely.
Expectation: You find and flirt with the hottest guy at the bar, ensuring your ex will be insanely jealous.
Reality: The guy you were flirting with looked more like this...
And you looked like this...
Expectation: You make sure to have only one or two drinks at the bar. No need to get sloppy!
Reality: This.
And this.
Oh, and this.
Expectation: You and your friends are the center of attention on the dance floor...
Reality: YOU are the center of attention on the dance floor...
Expectation: You eventually make it over to your ex and have a pleasant and coherent chat.
Reality: You get entirely too emotional and say things you're going to regret in the morning.
Expectation: You go home with a major hottie.
Reality: You go home alone and your ex wakes up to this call log...
THE HORROR.
OH THE HORROR.
So in sum ladies, let's do less of this...
and this...
And more of this...
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