We recently wrote a post where women revealed the moment they realized they had to call off their weddings. In the comments, even more readers revealed the "breaking point" that made them cancel the big day for good. Here's what they had to say:
1. "My ex-fiancé's road rage was ridiculous, but in this instance, I knew I was D.O.N.E. We were driving home after dark, and a driver in another lane got too close. It could've been an honest mistake. He went ballistic! Started swerving in and out of traffic, then got in front of him in the fast lane around a blind curve and slammed on his brakes in the middle of a freeway! We could've easily been killed in a pileup collision. He had the nerve to scream at me, and I mean scream about why couldn't I ever take his side?!"
"There are no sides in road rage. I didn't speak to him for a week, and when we met for coffee, I asked him if he was going to apologize. He said nothing. Not one word."
2. "As we were planning the wedding, we went on a trip to Vegas and he got drunk one night and admitted to spending his entire adult life (12 years!) in prison — something he hadn’t mentioned before. During and after that trip, he exhibited some alarming behavior; we broke it off, and I moved back to my home state. I dodged a bullet!"
3. "I called off my wedding after my fiancé of six years made a mistake the night of our wedding. We had room service, and some of the options were ice cream or pizza, so he asked if I wanted ice cream or pizza. I had asked for ice cream to be brought to our hotel room; it was a destination wedding in Cancún. He replies with, 'Hey babe, I think I made a mistake.' So I say, 'Oh you got pizza?' and he goes, 'No, I slept with your sister.'"
"I was flabbergasted, like, what the hell does that even mean??? Anyways, safe to say we aren’t together anymore."
—27, Georgia
4. "I just came to the realization that he actually grated my nerves and that I would not be able to be married to him. He was an immature mama's boy, and being married to him would be absolute hell."
"I was ready to be an adult and take responsibility for our life, but he wanted his mother a little too close to us for my liking. I left him, got healthy, figured out what I wanted my life to look like, and met a wonderful man (who is now my husband). We have a beautiful family. Ending my first engagement was the best decision of my life."
—26, Canada
5. "I was engaged to a guy who was a golf pro with dreams of playing professional golf, but he never did well in any smaller tournaments, mostly because he had a drinking problem. He made very little money; I was primarily supporting him, and he had a terrible temper. It’s amazing how easy it is to overlook personality defects when you think you are in love. I made excuses for him, even though his behavior was inexcusable. He ordered me out of the golf cart during a tournament because he made a bad shot and blamed me for making a noise that distracted him. While he rode in the cart for the rest of the tournament, I had to walk in 108-degree weather, and he never apologized."
"I had an operation, and when I came home after surgery, he helped me to bed upstairs and left to play golf. I wasn't allowed to use the stairs, so I was stuck upstairs until he returned and could bring me food. I finally started to see him for who he was when I took a job at the golf course where he worked part-time. I began to see that he was using me and finally broke up with him. He tried to get me to change my mind, but I was determined to move on. It was really hard untangling our lives, especially because I adored his parents who were heartbroken by our breakup. I only saw them one time after, but his mom and I corresponded by snail mail for years. A few years later, I married a man I’d known since I was 7. He is the love of my life, and we’ve been happily married 25 years."
—73, Arizona
6. "We were together since high school, and he proposed when I graduated college. It was then when we got engaged that everything started to fall apart. He became extremely self-conscious to the point where he was constantly accusing me of cheating on him. If I said I had to go to work, he’d immediately assume I was lying to go meet up with a man??? Which I have never done nor given him a reason to think so. It was over for me when I found out the reason he was doing all of this was because he was cheating on me with my cousin, and he was projecting his guilt onto me."
"She told me herself and showed me messages and pictures — pretty sure her intent was less of coming clean and more of getting me out of the picture. Either way, it worked; we never made it to the altar. He called me a thousand times and was constantly showing up to my mom's house (where I was temporarily staying after I moved out) to try and reconcile, but cheating has always been my biggest dealbreaker, and with a family member? I don’t think I could ever look past that. I told him never to contact me again, and so far, he hasn’t since."
—28, New York
7. "I wanted to end it as soon as it happened. He took me on an elaborate trip to New York City and proposed in the middle of Central Park…got down on one knee, etc. in front of people no less! The pressure got to me, and I said, 'Yes,' when I really meant, 'Absolutely not!' For the next couple years, I told myself to suck it up and accept my consequences when the truth remained absolutely not! He became so controlling and volatile that I had to leave in the middle of the day without telling him."
"A few days after we broke up, he stalked me once I left work, following me all over town one night. I couldn't lose him in traffic until I finally drove into the police station. He then began to stalk my best friend to look for me. Sometimes, I think I dodged a literal bullet on that one."
—Anonymous, Texas
8. "I kept having the feeling that if I married him, he would quit his job without another job lined up and expect me to support him financially. I felt he was lazy and couldn't be counted on. He also began to call me names passive-aggressively, which was causing me to doubt the engagement. Sure enough, he left in a huff as if to punish me a day after I had surgery. I called off the engagement then."
"I later found out he had also been sexting multiple single women the entire time he was dating and engaged to me and professing his love to me. What a narcissistic user! My instincts about him had been on target. So, if you sense red flags, listen to your gut and move on."
—58, Tennessee
9. "I was 29 at the time, and he was 34; we had been dating for two years before that, living together for one. It was weeks before our wedding, and everything was going mostly to plan. I had been going through my fiancé’s phone because my grocery list was on his phone for some reason, and his phone got a notification from somebody named 'Lola' (I'm not going to use any real names for obvious reasons) — I had never heard of nor had he mentioned anybody named 'Lola.' Now, I did not mind my fiancé having female friends or as I thought, relatives, but this just felt off. From what I saw, the text started with, 'Hey love.' I thought this could be a nickname for his mother, [since it was similar to her name,] though I had never heard her be referred to as 'Lola' by anyone."
"Considering all this, it just felt off, but I ignored it for a few days. Still, I had this nagging feeling I should do something about it. Eventually, I called the wedding off a week before. At the time, I wondered if calling off the wedding had been too much as if I had destroyed a good relationship. But a few weeks later, I learned from a friend he had recently been engaged and married to a girl named 'Lola Davis' who he had apparently been cheating on me with for months. I was obviously shocked to hear this but thankful for that gut feeling that had probably saved me a lot of pain. More recently, I heard that he and Lola had been divorced because he had cheated on Her. I am now happily married to my current husband who is the love of my life. I’m still thankful for that gut feeling I had then."
—43, USA
10. "We had the same religion but came from different sects. His parents were not thrilled that he was engaged to me because they didn’t agree with my sectarian background. They wanted him to break things off with me and didn’t come to our engagement party. Right after the party, we came back to my parents' house, and he proceeded to tell my parents they didn’t raise me and my brother properly. I threw his ring on the lawn and broke it off. He was so rude to my family and had no concern for my feelings."
"Two years later, I met a wonderful man from different religious background. His parents love me, and my parents love him. We have been married 18 peaceful years."
—51, California
11. "We were recent college grads, and I got a job offer in another country. He was ready to follow me but had absolutely no ambitions or plans of his own. He thought he could just follow me, and then we'd 'figure it out,' which sounds romantic at first, but he wasn't applying for jobs and wasn't interested in any particular work. We delayed the wedding once because I thought he just needed more time to reflect, but nothing changed. I decided that as much as I loved him and he loved me, I couldn't respect a shadow. We were too young, and he needed time to develop his own sense of self and his own dreams (so did I, to be honest)."
"He lied to his family/friends for months and pretended we were still together in the hopes we would figure things out. It was devastating, but I’ve never regretted it. The good news is that it’s been over a decade, and we’ve communicated since and agree it was the right decision. I genuinely wish him the absolute best."
—35, The Netherlands
12. "Five months before the wedding, we were out to dinner. I said that I thought it was time to talk about our finances. He flat-out refused. I got up and walked out. He eventually came out and took me back to where we were staying. Finally, I figured out that he had a massive gambling problem."
"Even with the promise of getting help, I just said nope — I'm out of here."
—71, USA
13. "There were a lot of things, all of which could've been THE reason, but I was young and inexperienced. A few of the things: His friends would hit on me, and he liked it; I didn’t. He started to pick my clothes, which were always more revealing. He didn't like that I was in college, so I stopped talking about my classes or ambitions. I stopped talking altogether because he also said I wasn't funny. He wanted kids immediately, and so did his parents, but I wasn't having that kind of sex with him. I wasn't saving myself, but it never felt right."
"When I told him I needed time and felt pressured to get married right away, he cheated on me, and his mom blamed me. I’m glad he did. That was apparently the one thing I couldn’t tolerate."
—40, Arizona
14. "I was very young, and he was quite a bit older than me. My cousin, slightly younger than me, wanted to go on a date with her boyfriend. The stipulation given by my strict aunt and uncle for my cousin to go on a date was that I had to chaperone. My fiancé was at work and unreachable, so I didn't have a chance to tell him that I planned to chaperone my cousin. I went with them to their chosen location of a local mall, and we all perused the stores for two to three hours. That evening, on the phone with my fiancé, I told him that I'd chaperoned my cousin's date. He was FURIOUS: 'So you just hung out with another man, huh?'"
"I realized I couldn't spend my life with that level of petty insecurity and broke it off after almost three years. He proceeded to repeatedly show up drunk at my grandma's house, yelling about how I was a deceitful and ungrateful 'whore' for 'hanging out with other dudes.' Dudes, plural, even though there was only one male present in the event in question, and he was literally MY COUSIN'S BOYFRIEND. Definitely dodged many, many bullets by noping out of that one."
—32, USA
And finally...
15. "We dated for about three months prior to getting engaged, and I ignored so many red flags. He would make comments about how I was so good with money, tried to get me to sign up for gambling apps, and stuff like that. He and his spoiled brat daughter moved into my house with me and my daughter, and they acted so nasty and entitled from the moment they got there. No regard for the house and the stuff I'd worked hard for. They would break things, were completely careless, and never helped with the chores. They were totally reliant on me for a place to live, and he got way too comfortable with depending on me."
"He quit his job and wouldn't be able to help with any bills, no notice or consulting about it — I just knew I would have to pay everything since it's all in my name. To top it off, I saw his gross kid picking boogers and eating them on my favorite chair that my grandma gave me. That was the final straw, I told them both to get out that night."
—29, Michigan
WOW. Fellow women, have you ever called off your wedding? Feel free to share your story in the comments below. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use this Google form.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.