1. The ongoing threat of fluid assault from basically anywhere on their body legitimately scares you.
They're like slow-release water balloons, but with vomit, and urine, and poo, and other stuff that you really don't want to identify.
Children are evil and terrible and there's no good reason for them to exist.
They're like slow-release water balloons, but with vomit, and urine, and poo, and other stuff that you really don't want to identify.
Small human, please stop looking at me and reading my mind.
How are they moving? Are there bones in them? Are they really small bones? That's so weird.
I'm sure I used to have adult friends, but I haven't seen a picture of them in months.
"Oh, you hit me because bear? WHAT SORT OF FUCKING REASON IS THAT?"
I don't want to see this, please put your phone away.
"Look, he does this thing... there it is!" Yes. That thing on the screen moved its head slightly. I'm leaving now.
Spoiler: No, they aren't.
It's not a normal thing at all.
They just look sad in clothes their parents picked out.
Which is frowned upon.
Don't touch it, it might shatter.
Little known fact – your first alcoholic drink is actually when you gain your soul.
They're not even as good as real puppies.