Book Taylor Swift To DJ Your Next Party

BUY NOW OR REGRET LATER!!! Important to note: Taylor Swift is not a D.J., nor is she available for parties.

YO YO YO, It's D.J. T-SWIFTY on the 1s and 2s!

READY TO BOOK FOR ALL YOUR DJing NEEDS:

IS A GREAT DJ, Will ROCK your party!!!

D.J. SWIFTY SPECIALIZES IN SONGS!

D.J. SWIFTY WILL BRING HER FRIENDS TO YOUR PARTY, SUCH AS: the guy from Mumford and Sons with his wife Carey Mulligan!

ALSO FRANK OCEAN. WAIT, GET BACK TO DJing. More DJing!!!

GOOD. And Ellie Goulding TOO!

THE END.

Photos: Dave M. Benett/Getty Images for BACARDI