If Orphan Black Clones Went To Hogwarts

Imagine if the clone club and crew got a chance to wear the sorting hat. That would look great with Helena's curls.

Sarah Manning: Gryffindor

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Sarah is brave and would do anything for her daughter. But she’s also impulsive and sometimes makes dumb choices, which is token Gryffindor. Remember when she spit in the face of a guy who had her hands zip tied? Not a great choice, Manning.

Helena: Slytherin

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Helena is a Slytherin but in the best possible way. She’s resourceful – look how quickly she got out of those handcuffs and cunning – she can trick anyone into thinking she isn’t a murderous teddy bear. Look at this hiss, she probably speaks parseltongue.

Cosima Niehaus: Ravenclaw

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Cosima is the smartest clone and she knows it and relishes it like a good Ravenclaw. We feel sure she would cheat in a game of Monopoly to win and brag about it forever. She also thinks she’s witty and charming, and she is but don’t tell her – she doesn’t need the ego boost.

Alison Hendrix; Hufflepuff

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Allison works hard to keep her family together and is immeasurably patient with her doofus of a husband. She’s also terrifying when provoked, just like a badger (well, a honey badger) – the mascot of her house. She also says things like “what the dickens”’ which is just so Hufflepuff.

Rachel Duncan: Slytherin

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It’s like the house of Slytherin was invented for Rachel Duncan. How someone could feel so superior in a group of literal copies of each other is beyond us, but thinking she’s the original and thus better is just as gross as pure bloods hating mudbloods.

Tony Sawicki: Gryffindor

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Our resident bro-clone (other than Fee) is a bit of a mystery still. But he had the balls to kiss Fee and had no problem threatening everyone in his line of vision so we'll go Gryffindor until we get a better read on him.

Charlotte Bowles: Hufflepuff

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We know next to nothing about the baby clone except that she was shy in meeting Sarah, theoretically likes paper planes and seems to be loved and happy so we’ll deem her a Hufflepuff. She does look kind of terrifying though so who knows, maybe she’s the next Helena (Please, OB).