1. When you get angry about the prospect of snow.
2. The first time you're too big for the swing set.
3. When your body refuses to let you sleep in on Saturday.
4. When getting your finger stuck in something is no longer socially acceptable.
5. When you give zero fucks about the toy in your Happy Meal.
6. The first time you see unwanted genitalia.
7. When this stops being cute-funny.
8. When no one laughs at your fart.
9. When you get this scratch-and-sniff.
10. When you consider boardwalk games a waste of money.
11. When you realize there's a person underneath the mascot costume.
12. When you figure out you don't NEED to eat the whole box of Tic Tacs.
13. When your mom takes you bra shopping with her.
14. When your parents give you this cake for your birthday and you don't vomit from embarrassment.
15. When you suddenly enjoy the taste of beer.
16. When shitty food makes you feel like shit.
17. When you realize birthdays are no longer exciting.
18. When this stops being scary.
19. When you look around and no one your age is in the play area.
20. When you have to buy your own Girl Scout Cookies.
21. When you go grocery shopping alone for the first time.
22. When you realize that "Santa" is your parents, not that dude at the mall.
23. And when you realize the importance of having health insurance.
