WARNING: If you are one of those horrible popular pregnant bitches, you should probably stop reading now.
This post is for businesswomen only.
And by businesswomen, I mean that you are not actually businesswomen. You made that up.
1.
First off, food. One of the reasons you get along so well is your mutual love of food.
2.
DO NOT MESS WITH FOOD. EVER.
3.
You also hate the same things, like throwing up.
4.
This is your religion.
6.
In high school, you were really into dyeing each other's hair.
7.
One of your teachers totally creeped you out.
8.
And when one of you got mono, you took it as a positive thing.
9.
You were secretly jealous of your friend for getting a flip phone first.
10.
Unless you were the one who got the flip phone first. Lucky bitch.
11.
They might have put you in the yearbook together.
12.
You sing in the car together regardless of whether you know the words.
13.
You still argue about who lost their virginity first.
14.
Sometimes people misunderstand when you're just trying to be helpful.
15.
You are hip. Everyone else is not.
16.
When you're in public you have the tendency to talk about totally inappropriate things.
17.
You also have the tendency to say totally weird things to strangers.
18.
Similarly, you scare small children easily.
19.
You also use words that you don't really know what they mean.
20.
This is a very common conversation the two of you have.
21.
This is also a common conversation.
22.
Sometimes you get in little fights about stupid shit like Post-it note glue.
23.
You're mad for, like, a day.
It takes so much effort to stay mad at each other.
24.
You have each other's backs.
25.
Because fuck everyone else.
26.
It's just your own lifestyle.
27.
You will probably just end up getting married.
You can open up your own scarf-folding company up or something.
*Walks on a treadmill wearing high heels*
*Puts on "Time After Time"*
