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1. If it sounds like the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard, it’s probably the truth.
2. If you smoke, you're in on it.
3. If you work with someone long enough, they’ll want your baby.
4. An FBI badge makes you better than everyone else.
5. No proof, no case.
6. Never trust new team members.
7. Never leave an important character in a hospital bed.
8. Important events happen when you pee.
9. You should befriend children who are world-class chess players.
10. Stay away from black oil.
11. If you’re emotionless, you’re one of them.
12. Your dad never loved you.
13. A mole will help you but not really... but he will... but he wont...
14. Hear a sound? Pull a gun.
15. It's OK to look at porn at work.
16. By the end of the series, Mulder and Scully know everything.
17. The government archives everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
18. Religion + Science = Dana Scully
19. Scully is immortal.
20. Cockroaches are aliens. They will kill you.
21. Bees help aliens. They will kill you.
22. If you find a mysterious metallic implant in the back of your neck, DO NOT REMOVE IT!
23. If your sister hasn't returned from her alien abduction after two decades, she's dead.
24. Do not leak any information to Mulder. It'll end badly.
25. If you have a thing for Scully, don't. It'll end badly.
26. Inconspicuous train cars are the most conspicuous.
27. Never live in a gated community.
28. When you don't know, touch it.
29. If that doesn't work, taste it.
30. Government controls the Oscars.
31. Government controls the Olympics.
32. Government controls the Super Bowl.
33. You can run in heels.
34. When in doubt, leave it to a nerd.
35. They are always watching... Always...
36. Things go down at the FBI parking lot... A LOT.
37. If your clock blinks 12:00, you should probably run.
38. Native Americans know what's up.
39. If you're not trying to kill your boss, you're not doing it right.
40. The President is irrelevant in the major scheme of things.
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