HAPPY TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY! For many it's just behind Christmas Day and Ed Balls Day in the pecking order of British national holidays.
Days ranked - (1) Ed Balls Day (2) Christmas Day (3) Transfer Deadline Day
These people speak for an entire nation of soccerball enthusiasts.
This year's Deadline Day had everything except, at first, any actual big signings. BUT Jim White was getting ready to crank out the clichés on Sky Sports.
Gonna wake up at 6am to fill out my jim white bingo card
BTW here's just a reminder of what Jim White looked like in his Anchorman years.
More vintage Jim White. This time: The John Aldridge years #transferdeadlineday
Sky's number-crunching guy, Dharmesh Sheth, was getting all excited about the £769 million that had been spent on transfers so far in this transfer window.
TALK TO THE HAND BECAUSE THIS TOTALISER DON'T WANNA KNOW.
He could have been having some kind of meltdown on air. Who knows?
As ever, fans were hanging around in the background of Sky Sports shots.
Someone's rocking the dynamic anchorman look for his @SkySportsNewsHQ job interview #transferdeadlineday
For most reporters it was a case of standing in the world's most depressing car parks, surrounded by fans who looked a bit like they were there to steal someone's car.
Newcastle fans were probably the most cheeky early on.
Pray for this guy #transferdeadlineday
Especially this kid.
Although to be fair to this reporter, Jane, sorry, Jermaine Defoe is a hard name to say.
These kids in Southampton were full of the joys of Deadline Day.
The Hull City fans here WENT COMPLETELY CRAZY at the news of the club's signing of Abel Hernandez.
Some couldn't handle the excitement.
While this boy was the coolest character around.
During the last transfer window, fans outside Stoke City's ground resembled extras from Night of the Living Dead...
BREAKING: Concern for the Sky Sports News reporter, as the annual Stoke City zombies have gathered.
...so people on Twitter compared them to this.
The atmosphere is building up nicely outside the Britannia stadium #transferdeadlineday
...and this.
"@FootyLaughs: Stoke fans today... " We're like that everyday! You should see us when we don't dress up!
Although nowhere quite reached the levels of excitement seen in Norwich last year.
Yet again, many jokes were about the fact that Arsene Wenger's Arsenal weren't going to buy anyone.
Meanwhile........
This is what a lot of people imagined he was actually doing.
Pendant ce temps la Arsene lui #DeadlineDay
If Arsenal do get desperate they could just sign this goat in an Arsenal shirt.
#transferdeadlineday #afc finally sign a world class Brazilian striker Goatinho
Manchester United surprised everyone by bagging Colombian striker Falcao on loan, despite having no defenders.
New Man Utd formation…
Although this is another possible formation.
This is ridiculously accurate LOOOOL #transferdeadlineday
The lid was sensationally lifted on how football journalism works.
This tweet – which just might have been fake – said Falcao was heading to Hyde FC, currently bottom of the Skrill North division, who last season went 29 games without a win. It wasn't to be.
We cannot confirm if this is a legitimate tweet, however reports of Falcao to Hyde seem to be getting stronger
BTW, Hyde have not won this season yet, as this handy Twitter account will tell you.
No
United's Mexican supersub, Javier Hernandez, is headed to Madrid on loan – meaning he's being transferred from one bench to another, as symbolised by this handing over of a chair.
Hernandez has been presented with his bench at Real Marid #MUFC #DeadlineDay
So this is where he'll mostly play at Madrid.
For those asking how he'll fit in, here is Chicharito's new position at Real Madrid...
But forget Manchester, shit was getting real in Cheltenham.
@martinkelner It's all kicking off on #transferdeadlineday in Cheltenham
Geordies got excited when Neymar was spotted in Newcastle.
BREAKING NEWS: Neymar spotted in Newcastle #transferdeadlineday
It was the worst (or the best) day in the whole year for terrible Photoshop and Microsoft Paint efforts.
#TransferDeadlineDay "@BBCSporf: BREAKING: Wayne Rooney spotted in a Chelsea shirt "
This was the most bankable rumour of the whole day.
BREAKING! Vanilla Ice has signed for Aswad. #transferdeadlineday
Much more so than this one (Messi is a steak-bake man).
I've just spotted #Messi in @GreggstheBakers, near The Ethiad Stadium, ordering himself a sausage and bean pasty. #TransferDeadlineDay
Much was made of where Nigerian striker Peter Odemwingie – who once drove to QPR to offer his services unannounced – might turn up.
Just seen Peter Odemwingie down the petrol station. Full tank. Look of steely determination in his eye. Aberdeen?
Anyone stuck a GPS tracker on Odemwingie's car today to see which car parks he turns up in?!
Has the first Peter Odemwingie joke been tweeted yet? #transferdeadlineday #LADBanter
In a break with hundreds of years of Deadline Day tradition, Harry Redknapp REFUSED to wind his window down to talk to reporters, creating this #accidentalpartridge moment.
The football earth truly has frozen over. And that reporter has had better days.
Of course, Redknapp did talk to reporters. Just not in his car. It feels all wrong.
Wouldn't be transfer deadline day without talking to Harry! #HarryRedknapp #transferdeadlineday
There are internet memes and bingo cards RELYING on this happening.
Where is you're car Harry!?? #transferdeadlineday
It's thought this is how he normally prepares for it.
Just spotted Harry Redknapp relaxing in the park before #TransferDeadlineDay
We will have to make do with this substitute.
#TransferDeadlineDay wouldn't be the same without Harry Redknapp in his car, he never disappoints
Or maybe this guy.
The car door is just sat there, waiting.
QPR press conference set up for Harry on #transferdeadlineday
But don't worry, because later on Stoke manager Mark Hughes took over the traditional Redknapp car interview.
Sparky taking over the traditional interview-with-the-car-window-down role these days #transferdeadlineday
Oh, and this reporter stationed at QPR's training ground ALL DAY managed to miss Redknapp drive past.
Meanwhile, spare a thought for fax machine manufacturers on their most important day of the year.
Arsenal transfer status... LIVE #TransferDeadlineDay Boot Room >> http://t.co/J1Revm5uJi
Some speculated whether David Cameron could use Deadline Day to get rid of Nick Clegg.
'We're trying to offload Cleggy but the boy isn't having any of it' #transferdeadlineday
As the night drew in things really got interesting, especially when one reporter got a dildo pressed against his head while reporting from Everton's Goodison Park stadium.
Seen some strange things happen on #transferdeadlineday but this wow speechless
Just to clarify, this did actually happen.
Things got so rowdy at QPR that the fans more or less took over the broadcast. Not even the Sky reporter's magic spray could stop people encroaching into his personal space.
You really have to feel for the guy reporting for Sky at QPR #transferdeadlineday
Inevitably, there was a fan in a Morphsuit. He was just one of several who managed to blurt the now infamous "FHRITP" phrase live on air.
Well done knobhead in a morph suit who shouted "FHRITP" at West Ham
And with just six minutes to go, a blow-up sex doll made an appearance.
Hahah #transferdeadlineday #sexdoll
But when the dust has settled on this year's Deadline Day, don't pay too much attention to "expert" opinion. This was Stuart Pearce's take on Arsenal's "waste of money" signing of Dennis Bergkamp, via @AntiqueFootball.
Transfers 4 ever.
Am I still in time for #transferdeadlineday?