1.
Saying "I have plans" to get out of other plans, when the only thing you have planned is some R & R.
2.
Using Facebook's "View As" option to see how your profile looks to your crush.
3.
Finishing family-size servings of junk foods in one sitting.
4.
...while marathoning a show you wouldn't admit to watching.
5.
Ignoring a text for days* and then saying, "OMG I'm SO sorry, just noticed my reply didn't go through!"
6.
Snooping in people's bathroom cabinets when you're over at their place.
7.
Starting a "private session" on Spotify and listening to your guilty pleasure song on repeat for six hours.
8.
"Accidentally" sending your crush a Snapchat that was "meant for a friend, so sorry!"
9.
Deep and unabashed nose-picking.
10.
Lying during "Never Have I Ever" because you don't want to be the only loser that hasn't dropped acid or had a threesome on a plane or whatever.
11.
Being home alone = pizza out of the box, wine out of the bottle.
12.
Sneaking a quick glance through your significant other's inbox when they leave their Facebook logged in.
13.
Scheduling your emails to send at 8 a.m. so your colleagues and professors don't know you're a psycho 5 a.m. worker.
14.
Listening to a song on repeat for days so you can memorize the rap and bust it out at parties.
15.
Feeling an overwhelming relief when you get home and realize nobody else is.
17.
Genuinely intending to bake cookies but failing because you started eating the batter. And never stopped.
18.
Watching engagement/wedding videos on YouTube and going through an entire box of Kleenex in an hour.
19.
Pretending to text while actually taking selfies.
20.
Peeing in the shower.
21.
Abandoning all social norms and grammar rules while in conversation with your best friend.
22.
Claiming to have read books that you've actually just read the Wikipedia entry for.
23.
And, finally, you'll never admit to having related to nearly every item on this list.
It's OK. Nobody has to know.
