1. The "Married Young and Are Now Real Grown-Ups"
2. The Wall Streeter
Defining traits: Blinking Blackberry, impeccable suit game, 100-hour work weeks and still somehow rage hardest on the weekend.
Why you love them: The hardest you've ever worked at anything is peanuts compared to their everyday life.
Catchphrase: "Sorry, guys, gotta go. Something came up at the office."
3. The One Whose Parents Are "Helping Out a Bit," Seemingly Forever
Defining traits: The nicest apartment you've ever seen, a very glamorous Instagram presence, and perfect grooming all the time.
Why you love them: They let you come to that nice apartment, and are as generous as they are lucky.
Catchphrase: "Hamptons this weekend?"