1. Morning sickness can strike at any time, not just in the morning.
2. And can last all day.
3. Almost anything can set it off – like the sensation of brushing your teeth.
Does it still count as good dental hygiene if you're taking breaks to spit into the toilet?
4. Or being too warm.
5. Or not having had enough sleep.
6. Or it being a Tuesday.
7. Now you're pregnant, you have developed SMELLING SUPERPOWERS. And everything you smell makes you nauseated.
8. Like the smell of a half-full kitchen bin.
9. A kitchen bin three houses away.
10. Or the smell of the fridge when you open the door.
11. Or even the smell of your partner.
12. You have resigned yourself to the fact that, while travelling, anything about your person – your handbag, your cardigan, some shopping you just bought – will eventually serve as a sick-bag.
13. Morning sickness can be so bad that you have to take time off work.
14. And the worst part is, it normally starts before you're ready to share your news of your pregnancy with your employer.
15. Some pregnant women don't even get morning sickness, which can make them worry that there's something "wrong" with their pregnancy.
16. But you don't always throw up. Sometimes you just walk around retching attractively.
17. Other times you're bowled over by dizzying and debilitating waves of nausea, wishing you could throw up, because at least you'd get some relief.
18. Often, this nausea can feel quite a lot like hunger pangs, so you don't know whether to stick your head in the toilet, or eat all of the bread.
19. Suddenly, just thinking about food that you used to love makes you want to vomit the rainbow.
20. Even water, which makes staying hydrated a really difficult proposition.
21. Because so many things make you sick, you have to find what food works for you, and stick with it.
22. So if that means one month of cheese and onion pasties and watermelon, so be it. At least you're eating.
23. In fact, eating – as counterintuitive as it may feel – can help you feel better, because low blood sugar can make morning sickness worse.
24. So eat as soon as you wake up, then little and often through the day, and it might mitigate your sickness.
25. And keeping some mints or Preggie Pop Drops (which you can buy on Amazon) on you at all times can be a lifesaver.
26. The good news is most people's morning sickness dies down in the second trimester.
27. And, at the end of it, you get a beautiful little baby!
28. Who will then promptly vomit on you.
It's the circle of life.
