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    18 Hilarious Tweets Just From This Weekend Alone

    Loling rn.

    1.

    me: hi billie eilish: 👁 👁 👃🏻 👄🕷 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓲𝓽’𝓼 𝓯𝓪𝓴𝓮?

    2.

    florence: run fast for your mother, fast for your father, run for your children, for your sisters and brothers me:

    3.

    judge: how do u plead? spill the tea sis😌 defendant: all tea all shade? i hid the body😌💅🏼 judge: omg sis ur cancelled and that’s that on THAT😌💋

    4.

    honestly..... this would totally be me as a spy

    5.

    6.

    Me running away from responsibilities and commitment

    7.

    Me: The girl who sold silly bands during recess:

    8.

    9.

    12 year old me posting “you know my name, not my story” on facebook

    10.

    why does ur phone say “battery sufficiently charged” at 80% like girl that’s your opinion

    11.

    12.

    Maaaaaaan I’m trying to make an appointment with my barber to get a haircut and he trying to make an appointment with somebody else i guess🤦🏽‍♂️😭😭😂😂💀💀 https://t.co/qbqAzMGvMr

    13.

    i hate when my friend starts dating an idiot and i have to be like how could you bring this man into our lives

    14.

    15.

    I don’t want a sugar daddy but maybe like a sugar buddy. I just hit him up like “Hey how are you today?” and he replies “Doing great thanks for asking here’s $7,000. “

    16.

    the little bumps on the back of my tongue when i drink McDonald's sprite

    17.

    THEN the doctor pulls out his.....STETHOSCOPE NOOOO!!! YES!!

    18.

    the gays after knowing jessica lange is back for AHS