1.
"If I pretend to write this essay for my webzine, maybe I'll eventually get some work done."
2.
"Yeah, go ahead and publish that exposé. We probably won't get in trouble for it."
3.
"How do you file an expense report again?"
4.
"I can go ahead and take over this article for you. I'm a better writer anyways."
5.
"Ugh, that same commenter replied to my perfect comeback and now I need to think of another one."
6.
"If typing was an Olympic event, I mean, I'd at least place."
7.
"I CLOSED A TAB THAT WAS VERY IMPORTANT OH GOD OH NO."
8.
"But can I afford it?"
9.
"I guess at some point I should find another hobby, but I just have to tend to some crops real quick."
10.
"Quite frankly, I'm surprised that this was allowed online and I shall be flagging it forthwith."
11.
"Fell asleep uploading to YouTube. Gonna be a long night."
12.
"I started practicing my typing skills at an early age."
13.
"But how does the Internet even work?"
14.
"My Tumblr is WILDLY popular, thank you very much."
