I Ranked Every Single Flavor Of LaCroix Sparkling Water And No, Coconut Isn't Last

    This list is highly scientific and if you disagree with me you're wrong.

    Sam Stryker
    by Sam Stryker

    BuzzFeed Staff

    Hey guys. My name is Sam, and I have a confession to make: I LOVE LACROIX SPARKLING WATER.

    BuzzFeed

    If you aren't aware, LaCroix (rhymes with BOY, don't ask) isn't just a sparkling water: IT IS A LIFESTYLE. But here's the thing: There are 21 flavors of sparkling water...and some are better than others.

    LaCroix

    Because I am a gay man with OPINIONS and LaCroix is really just gay water, I decided to rank all the flavors. I'm right, if you disagree with me I think you're wrong. I DON'T MAKE THE RULES.

    side chick @lustedafter

    La Croix is gay water

    Reply Retweet Favorite

    According to a new study, these are the most popular flavors of LaCroix — but WHO CARES, these rankings are more important.

    Anyway, without further ado, here are my rankings.

    21. "LaCola"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: NOT TODAY, SATAN.

    20. "Muré Pepino"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Here's the thing: I hate cucumbers. So naturally, a blackberry-cucumber drink is not going to be my cup of tea (or in this case, my cup of sparkling water). BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.

    19. "Pure"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: LaCroix? Without any flavor? It's just not realistic. PASS.

    18. "Berry"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Tastes like medicine your mom would force you to take when you were a little kid. Not refreshing!

    17. "Kiwi Sandía"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: LaCroix beverages with two fruit flavors can be very hit-or-miss, since some pairings work better than others. Remember when Taylor Swift dated Tom Hiddleston and we were like, "What's going on?" Same thing, except with bubbles.

    16. "Key Lime"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: I don't want my sparkling water to taste like pie, but it's not BAD.

    15. "Peach-Pear"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: We have this flavor in the BuzzFeed office and TBH it's sort of a last resort for me if all the other flavors are out. It's crisp and gets the job done, but nothing to write home about (if I ever wrote home about sparkling water).

    14. "Pomme Bayá"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Apple-berry? I feel like the team at LaCroix who comes up with new flavors threw some darts at a board to come up with this combination. Whatever, there's no cucumber.

    13. "Orange"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: I mean...................it's orange? Orange is a reliable flavor but it doesn't WOW you, ya know? Like I'm not kept awake at night thinking about the flavor notes of Orange LaCroix.

    12. "Lemon"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Again, it's not bad, but I feel like you crack open a cold LaCroix when you want some flirty flavor, and lemon is a little too straightforward for me.

    11. "Lime"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Lime-flavored sparkling water? For spring? Groundbreaking.

    10. "Melón Pomelo"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Cantaloupe-grapefruit isn't as good as plain old grapefruit (or "Pamp" as I like to call it) but, not bad!

    9. "Apricot"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: I can't say that I ever find myself CRAVING something apricot-flavored but...............Apricot LaCroix works! Not one of their BEST flavors, but surprisingly good.

    8. "Cerise Limón"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Cherry-lime is one of those flavor pairings where the flavors work so much better together than they do alone. A winning combination, we stan.

    7. "Coconut"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Coconut LaCroix is to beverages what Anne Hathaway is to actresses. It's polarizing for some reason, and I'm here to redeem its narrative. Is it the best flavor? NO. Does it kind of taste like sunscreen? YES. But it sort of makes me feel like I'm on a tropical island. I won't tolerate Coconut slander.

    6. "Tangerine"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Tangerine LaCroix is everything that Orange LaCroix wants to be. It has that little extra "oomph" that sets it over the edge. If I had to describe any LaCroix flavor as "underrated," it would be Tangerine.

    5. "Cran-Raspberry"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: I don't know how, but Cran-Raspberry is LIGHTYEARS ahead of Berry LaCroix. Like Lady Gaga's decision to make a country album, it doesn't make any sense — yet HERE WE ARE. Cran-Raspberry is really damn good.

    4. "Mango"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: Here's the thing: Mango is one of those sweet flavors that works really well as a candy but shouldn't work for a sparkling water. Sparkling water, when flavored, can't hit you over the head with its taste. It's supposed to be subtle, and it's tough to do mango subtly. Yet LaCroix pulls it off. One of my faves in the BuzzFeed fridge.

    3. "Piña Fraise"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: The BuzzFeed offices started to stock these a few months ago and TBH, it changed my life. It's tropical, it's refreshing, and TBH I kind of want to spike mine at my desk (just don't tell my manager).

    2. "Passionfruit"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: OK, so here's the gag: Finding a pack of these out in the wild (AKA in grocery stores) is *NOT* easy. Having said that, when I do find a pack, I pounce. Passionfruit is the perfect combination of flirty and tropical while also being a refreshing sparkling water (if I wanted to drink a juice or soda, I'd drink a juice or soda!) On any other list, this would come out on top. But alas...

    1. "Pamplemousse"

    LaCroix

    My Sparkling Review: I mean, is anyone *REALLY* surprised? Everything about Pamplemousse is sublime, from the sensual name that rolls off the tongue to the gorgeous pastel can. And the TASTE! Now that is excellence. This was the easiest decision to make. Pamplemousse LaCroix really is THAT girl.

    Alright, that's what I have to say about the matter. Agree? Disagree? Sound off in the comments!

    E!