1. "Film" is a pretty ironic title for your major, since you never shoot on the stuff.
2. A good director of photography is irreplaceable. Except by a kid with their own steadicam rig.
3. And anyone with a car has a guaranteed spot on your crew.
4. The second most important person on set is the director. The most important person on set is the PA who delivers the coffee and pizza.
5. Some film lingo just never leaves your vocabulary.
6. Flirting with the people running the equipment checkout counter is sometimes the only way to get all the gear you need.
7. Besides just outright bribing them.
8. Bad lighting is reason enough to hate a movie, redecorate your entire apartment, and leave a restaurant mid-meal.
9. Nothing will make your dorm room look like anything besides a dorm room, no matter how inspired your art direction.
10. "Producer" is just a code word for "you will never sleep again."
11. Dolly shots are gorgeous, and impressive, and take like seven hours to get 12 seconds of decent footage.
12. Bad sound is the quickest way to turn your masterpiece into an 8th grade class project.
13. Anyone still hanging this poster in their room is probably terrible.
14. You will try and shoot party scenes that look like this.
They won't.
15. You will constantly beg your friends to be extras. They will not want to.
16. So you will spend a large portion of your production budget paying them back.
17. Special effects makeup is pricey, but worth it.
18. You can never, ever break the 180 degree rule.
19. Except when you TOTALLY CAN.
20. "Auditions" always end in you casting your friends anyway.
21. Weekends are for shooting. Weekdays are for elective classes and drinking.
22. Sometimes your professors assign you films to watch just to troll you.
23. You can never give yourself too much credit.
24. No one should have let you screen your terrible Freshman projects in front of living, breathing human people.
25. "Magic Hour" is the only time of day that matters.
27. You've seen everything before and can't help but spoil movies for your non-film friends.
28. Which is why no one actually wants to watch a movie with you anymore.
29. But that's okay. They'll be paying money to see your movies soon enough.
