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    35 Signs You Read Enid Blyton As A Child (And Quite Possibly As An Adult)

    World Book Day was yesterday, and Enid Blyton was voted UK parents' favourite children's author. You go, girl.

    1. You can read the names ‘Fanny’ and ‘Dick’ without laughing.

    2. You treat any open window, no matter how small, as a security risk.

    3. Eavesdropping is your greatest weapon.

    4. Though you're also familiar with many varieties of traditional blade and firearm.

    5. Your favourite insults are ‘horrid’, ‘frightful’, ‘beastly’, ‘hateful’ and ‘‘donkey’.

    6. There’s no problem that a little running away won’t solve.

    7. You know how to signal with a lantern from a hilltop or castle turret.

    8. If someone calls you ‘Big Ears’, you take it as a compliment.

    9. You were absolutely horrified when you discovered that Elizabeth was going to a school with boys in it.

    10. You’ve always thought it would be quite nice to live on a farm.

    11. Or in a caravan.

    12. Or at the circus.

    13. You learnt your anger management techniques from Darrell Rivers.

    14. You’ve always wanted a slippery-slip in your house, instead of stairs.

    15. You know how to enjoy the simple things in life.

    16. You knew that toys were alive long before Toy Story.

    17. In your eyes, the fact that lacrosse isn’t an Olympic sport is a shocking oversight.

    18. You are always on the lookout for people disappearing into or appearing out of small holes.

    19. Food is your number one priority.

    20. Although your tastes are straightforward – potted-meat sandwiches, sausages fried over a camping stove and treacle tart.

    21. And ice cream.

    22. You maintain a watchful eye for signs of naughtiness, and you know how to nip them in the bud.

    23. You're always happy to accept a reward for a job well done.

    24. You expect the unexpected.

    25. You know that, sometimes, your only option is to fake a minor injury.

    26. If a prank is required, you have a list as long as your arm.

    27. You know that a gang’s not a gang without a canine member.

    28. You firmly maintain that all mysterious paths, alleys, caves and buildings must be investigated.

    29. Your idea of heaven can be summed up in two words: Pop. Biscuits.

    30. Granted, your feelings about race issues are mixed, troublesome and problematic.

    31. As are your feelings towards gender relations.

    32. And also violence.

    33. And, yes, your worldview can sometimes be a little blinkered.

    34. But you're always to look at things from a new perspective.

    35. And, at the end of the day, you know right from wrong.

    Keep reading, Blyton-lovers.