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1. Gay Scouts can't shape five ounces of wood into something that could break the sound barrier.
2. Or alternatively, into a work of art on wheels:
3. Gay Scouts won't get to earn this:
4. And gay leaders won't be allowed to teach them what every one of these is for:
5. Gay Scouts won't be able to make a Klondike sled out of PVC pipes and steely determination and drag it through the mud and snow like a dog.
6. Nor will they be allowed to be tied to it with the rest of their friends and run like hell over a half-mile track through the woods.
7. Gay Scouts won't be allowed to carry their friends on a homemade palanquin while blindfolded as part of first aid training.
8. And gay leaders won't be allowed to teach Scouts how to set a fire without setting everything else on fire.
9. Gay leaders won't be able to teach the importance of gun control.
10. Nor will gay leaders teach Scouts how to use one of the oldest projectile weapons in the world.
11. Between now and May, gay Scouts won't be allowed to cook chicken on a spit for their troop.
12. And gay leaders can't help Scouts survive 5-foot river rapids on an inflated couch.
13. Gay Scouts can't cross a rope bridge 50 feet in the air with nothing to catch them but another rope.
14. Gay leaders and Scouts can't sell popcorn door to door.
15. Gay Scouts can't sleep next to sharks at aquarium overnights.
16. Or next to DINOSAURS on museum overnights.
17. Gay Scouts and leaders aren't allowed to spend any Saturday morning between now and May in a scratchy tan uniform collecting canned food for strangers.
18. Gay Scouts know the rest of "On my honor..."
19. Gay Scouts can't earn any of these until May.
20. And gay leaders can't pin this on any Scouts' shirts.
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