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What It's Like To Be Irish On St. Patrick's Day
Happy St. Patty's Day, top o' the marnin', faith and begorrah, and quit tryin' ta steal me lucky charms! Commence eye roll in 3, 2...
1.You roll your eyes every time you see someone celebrating St. Patricia's Day.
2.You know that this is not a shamrock.
3.In the weeks prior to St. Patrick's Day, you can't get away from these stands in nearly every store:
4.And try though you may, you don't remember the part in the St. Patrick legend where he cast the snakes out of Ireland wearing a feather boa and sparkly green top hat:
5.You long ago realized your town's St. Patrick's Day Parade had some pretty loose rules:
6.Every time you see something like this, a small part of you dies.
7.With any luck, you'll get through a year without being constantly reminded of how lucky you're supposed to be.
8.OH THANK GOODNESS:
9.You don't know a single person that prefers green Bud Light to Guinness.
10.You're really not sure where to start with the "green drink = St. Patrick's Day drink" trend:
11.And you're frankly over the "green breakfast":
12.Especially when a delicious, ACTUAL Irish breakfast is so easy to make:
13.You go out to a bar wanting to have a little tongue-in-cheek Irish fun, and see one of the thousands of variations of these groups of people:
14.You like everyone wanting to experience your heritage, but sometimes...
...it gets a little much.
15.You're growing tired of people using the day devoted to your ancestors' culture as an excuse to get absolutely hammered.
16.March 17th isn't "Doesn't Count As Alcoholism" Day.
17.You enjoy all the costumes and fun people have during the day, like "Irish Viking":
...but don't know who you need to start hitting when you see "Irish Butts".
18.Really, you love your heritage, but you're kind of starting to hate your holiday.
19.But after a few of these...
20....a couple shots of these...
21....and a few bites of Irish soda bread, you start to forget all about "luck" and St. Patricia.
22.Then you hear a group of these guys,
23.and see a troupe of stepdancers TEAR IT UP...
24....and you stop caring how people celebrate this silly, ridiculous, fun holiday.
25.And just raise a pint with whoever's next to you.
