1.
Crossdressing to take your friend's high school exam
2.
Owning more than two dildos in Arizona (or six in Texas)
3.
Wearing a red mask while committing misdemeanors in Arizona
4.
Having oral sex in Georgia's high schools
5.
Improperly remodelling old asbestos buildings
6.
Joking about having a bomb in your luggage
7.
Being too poor to pay court fines
8.
Checking your spouses' mail/email
9.
Being baited into buying weed by undercover cops
10.
Getting stopped and frisked
11.
Living in a high-conviction neighborhood
Whew! Good luck, folks, and may you never have to drink this bag of prison hot dog wine.