1. Be an active and willing participant in "photo fraud":
2. Disregard Destiny's Child's advice and say passive aggressive things on the Internet:
For further reference, please read What Is A Subtweet?
3. ...things you would never dare say to another human (or dog for that matter) in real life:
4. But good thing there is still a way to express tone and throw subtle shade on the Internet:
For more on this, please reference The 42 Ways To Type Laughter, Defined
5. OVERREACT WITH ALL CAPS!
"For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction." - Newton's law of the Internet
6. Stage a "having a good time" picture solely for the purpose of sharing it on social media:
7. Draft, delete, and redraft a GChat message to someone you are crushing on:
8. Try with all your power to make sure you don't like a 40 week old picture of someone you are stalking on Instagram:
Instagram lurking is an art from. Gotta make sure you have a steady hand so you don't double tap.
9. Completely fall head over heels in love with a complete stranger:
10. Accidentally divulge information you know about someone that you exclusively learned on the Internet by stalking them:
11. Believe that wishing someone from high school a "Happy Birthday" is the good deed that will somehow get you into heaven:
12. Overshare:
13. Seek attention:
14. Share think-pieces and articles that you only 40% understand so people will think you are intelligent and well informed:
15. But inevitably, something will go wrong:
16. Scream an expletive at the screen every time another person on your Facebook feed gets engaged, married, posts a picture of their child, their perfect life etc.
17. AKA compare your life to others:
18. "Like" and "Fav" flirt:
19. Only half pay attention to the people around you because you are too busy live-tweeting the things they are saying:
20. Talk shit about something that somebody tweeted to someone else. And then be victim of this same shit-talking:
21. Immediately notify your friend if their ex has noteworthy activity/pictures on social media:
22. Which goes hand in hand with constantly lurking on ex's Facebook profiles:
23. Avoid your parents on social media like the plague:
24. Have Internet friends that you've never met in real life:
25. Type out your true thoughts and inner-most feelings in any available text box and then delete it:
26. Send a [INSERT BODY PART HERE] pic to someone:
27. Lose touch with humanity:
Welcome to the World Wide Web
