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Britney Spears
Still alive, as far as we know. The insane-train that is Britney somehow keeps on chugging.
The Best Buzz
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Britney Spears’ Vocals Isolated
Celebrity Buzz Listen to the feed from her live microphone isolated during a live show. Wow, what a breathy mess. Can I get a ringtone made of this?
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Britney Spears To Play Lesbian Killer
Celebrity Buzz The former pop tart is slated to play Varla in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Faster, Pussycat, Kill! Kill!. Will Britney experience a comeback on the same scale of John Travolta in Pulp Fiction? Only time will tell (as will US Magazine, Star, In Touch, Hello, OK!, The National Enquirer, Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, and every show on E!).
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Masturbation Music
Music Buzz The nine best songs written about getting your freak on yourself. Highlights include Devo, The Divinyls, and a post-Justin-pre-KFed Britney Spears who had just discovered the touch of her hand.
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Image: Britney’s Son Holding Cigarette
The New York Post cover features this disturbing photo of Britney Spears' 2-year-old son, Sean Preston, reaching for a pack of her cigarettes.
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Derrick Barry
Celebrity Buzz Britney Spears impersonator did well on America's Got Talent and is big on YouTube, too. Also, he's a guy. He even got David Hasselhoff to start questioning his sexuality. He's so hot! (Derrick, not David.)
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Image: Britney Spears in Tiny Car
A photograph captures Britney Spears riding in a tiny escalade.
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Mel And Britney
Celebrity Buzz Mel Gibson took Britney Spears (and her dad?!) to his home in Costa Rica for a little R&R. The unlikely BFF's used to be neighbors in Malibu, and have surely bonded over their shared passion for eighteenth-century Russian literature and fine wines. (...Whoops, we meant Us Weekly and booze. Our bad!)
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Girl Crush
Culture Buzz Although many would hope this term connoted hot girl-on-girl action, it's something much simpler: adoration by women for women. Audrey Hepburn, Chelsea Clinton, and Gwyneth Paltrow score points with gals for the ease with which they exude class and intelligence. Keep your fingers crossed - if Britney can manage to stay sane and keep her ironic tee shirts free of Spaghetti-O stains, she'll be right up there beside her pseudo-British sisters soon enough.
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Heidi and Britney
Celebrity Buzz Known less for their vocal prowess than their publicity whorage, the tabloid princesses have teamed up for a duet called "Dramatic." We included this trend under "Celebrity Buzz" rather than "Music Buzz," because doing so would have been an insult to anyone who's ever taken a piano lesson.
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Future Britney
Celebrity Buzz Forensic scientists have digitally aged Britney Spears to show what she'll look like in middle age. The results aren't pretty. The technique is meant to help catch criminals, but in their spare time, compositors have also aged dead celebrities such as Elvis Presley, JonBenet Ramsay, and Kurt Cobain. If you're the masochistic type, you can even have it done on yourself.
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Britney’s Law
Celebrity Buzz The escalating Britney Spears saga has inspired a Los Angeles City councilwoman to propose a law that creates a 20-yard personal "bubble" around celebrities that paparazzi can't cross. Oh no! We're imagining a bleak future of blurry upskirt, nipslip, and period stain paparazzi photos.
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The Celebrity Breakdown Cycle
Celebrity Buzz In the midst of the current deluge of unhinged celebrities, there's one small glimmer of hope. Sean Young, Kirsten Dunst, Justin Chambers and Britney Spears: We know you're all having a hard time right now. Don't worry, guys, because as Natasha Lyonne proves, its possible to come back from anything.
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Bryony Matthewman
Celebrity Buzz 24-year-old graphic designer is a YouTube sensation with her impersonations of Amy Winehouse and Britney Spears. Hmm, we're unconvinced. She's not even wasted in any of these videos, and where are the meth scars??
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The Unfortunate Foot Incident
Celebrity Buzz Britney runs over a paparazzo's foot, breaks into tears. Along with Larry Craig, this has to be the biggest "accidental" foot story of the year.
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Britney Spears Gimme More
Music Buzz After showing up again in the tabloids with no pants, this time Britney drops a single instead. And of course it's already been leaked online.
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Mini Britney
Celebrity Buzz Recently spotted at a New York nightclub with Lindsay Lohan, a little Britney Spears impersonator just signed a six-figure Vegas performing deal. Her show starts this weekend! Unlike real Britney Spears shows, she actually sings; also, performs for a full hour.
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Lumpy Butts
Culture Buzz Britney's ass is lumpy. Male menopause, dimply backsides - it's a day of devastating afflictions here at BuzzFeed. Stars, they really are just like us.
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