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Still alive, as far as we know. The insane-train that is Britney somehow keeps on chugging.
Celebrity Buzz Listen to the feed from her live microphone isolated during a live show. Wow, what a breathy mess. Can I get a ringtone made of this?
Celebrity Buzz The former pop tart is slated to play Varla in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Faster, Pussycat, Kill! Kill!. Will Britney experience a comeback on the same scale of John Travolta in Pulp Fiction? Only time will tell (as will US Magazine, Star, In Touch, Hello, OK!, The National Enquirer, Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, and every show on E!).
Music Buzz The nine best songs written about getting your freak on yourself. Highlights include Devo, The Divinyls, and a post-Justin-pre-KFed Britney Spears who had just discovered the touch of her hand.
The New York Post cover features this disturbing photo of Britney Spears' 2-year-old son, Sean Preston, reaching for a pack of her cigarettes.
Celebrity Buzz Britney Spears impersonator did well on America's Got Talent and is big on YouTube, too. Also, he's a guy. He even got David Hasselhoff to start questioning his sexuality. He's so hot! (Derrick, not David.)
A photograph captures Britney Spears riding in a tiny escalade.
Celebrity Buzz Mel Gibson took Britney Spears (and her dad?!) to his home in Costa Rica for a little R&R. The unlikely BFF's used to be neighbors in Malibu, and have surely bonded over their shared passion for eighteenth-century Russian literature and fine wines. (...Whoops, we meant Us Weekly and booze. Our bad!)
Culture Buzz Although many would hope this term connoted hot girl-on-girl action, it's something much simpler: adoration by women for women. Audrey Hepburn, Chelsea Clinton, and Gwyneth Paltrow score points with gals for the ease with which they exude class and intelligence. Keep your fingers crossed - if Britney can manage to stay sane and keep her ironic tee shirts free of Spaghetti-O stains, she'll be right up there beside her pseudo-British sisters soon enough.
Celebrity Buzz Known less for their vocal prowess than their publicity whorage, the tabloid princesses have teamed up for a duet called "Dramatic." We included this trend under "Celebrity Buzz" rather than "Music Buzz," because doing so would have been an insult to anyone who's ever taken a piano lesson.
Celebrity Buzz Forensic scientists have digitally aged Britney Spears to show what she'll look like in middle age. The results aren't pretty. The technique is meant to help catch criminals, but in their spare time, compositors have also aged dead celebrities such as Elvis Presley, JonBenet Ramsay, and Kurt Cobain. If you're the masochistic type, you can even have it done on yourself.
Celebrity Buzz The escalating Britney Spears saga has inspired a Los Angeles City councilwoman to propose a law that creates a 20-yard personal "bubble" around celebrities that paparazzi can't cross. Oh no! We're imagining a bleak future of blurry upskirt, nipslip, and period stain paparazzi photos.
Celebrity Buzz In the midst of the current deluge of unhinged celebrities, there's one small glimmer of hope. Sean Young, Kirsten Dunst, Justin Chambers and Britney Spears: We know you're all having a hard time right now. Don't worry, guys, because as Natasha Lyonne proves, its possible to come back from anything.
Celebrity Buzz 24-year-old graphic designer is a YouTube sensation with her impersonations of Amy Winehouse and Britney Spears. Hmm, we're unconvinced. She's not even wasted in any of these videos, and where are the meth scars??
Celebrity Buzz Britney runs over a paparazzo's foot, breaks into tears. Along with Larry Craig, this has to be the biggest "accidental" foot story of the year.
Music Buzz After showing up again in the tabloids with no pants, this time Britney drops a single instead. And of course it's already been leaked online.
Celebrity Buzz Recently spotted at a New York nightclub with Lindsay Lohan, a little Britney Spears impersonator just signed a six-figure Vegas performing deal. Her show starts this weekend! Unlike real Britney Spears shows, she actually sings; also, performs for a full hour.
Culture Buzz Britney's ass is lumpy. Male menopause, dimply backsides - it's a day of devastating afflictions here at BuzzFeed. Stars, they really are just like us.
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