CULTURE BUZZ: Producers likely inspired by the jaw-dropping profit of High School Musical are debuting in this new musical led by a cast comprised exclusively of teenagers. Written about a New York-bred kid whose family picks up and moves to Indiana, the bar mitzvah boy (yes, seriously) has to deal with adjusting to life in a brand new school. And with the website touting players based on stock characters like “gossip,” “jock,” “beauty,” and “wannabe,” parents in the audience can expect to be involuntarily overcome with memories of acne, bad fashion, and awkward dating rituals.

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The Best Links:

1. 13 The Musical
2. “A Funny, Exciting Love Letter to Childhood”
3. “What It Means To Be A Friend” [Like “Mean Girls” With Music]
4. The Cast Performs at “Broadway On Broadway”
5. A Cast Comprised Solely of Teenagers? Sounds Like a Dream.
6. The Show’s Tagline: “A New Musical About the Labels That Last a Lifetime.” (…Intense, No?)

Why are videos of children causing themselves harm so endlessly amusing? The people who film their kids hurting themselves (and each other) have turned YouTube into one large America’s Funniest Home Videos, which is just fine by me (though I’d be even more excited about videos of Bob Saget getting hurt).

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MOVIE BUZZ: MTV — the same network that made bisexuality the basis for a game show — is remaking the 1975 cult classic. If Chris Crocker ends up as the “sweet transvestite,” we’re totally boycotting. (Oh, who are we kidding? We’re so watching.)

The Best Links:

1. MTV Readies “Rocky Horror” Redux
2. Casting Notes: Bruce Vilanch To Woo The MTV Generation?
3. “The Time Warp”
4. Hairspray 2: Also Happening
5. New Rocky Horror To Feature New Horrible Music

CULTURE BUZZ: Young men these days are turning to vasectomies because of pregnancy fears. Details magazine writes that simple vasectomy surgery is the new thing with young guys who don’t want to become fathers. Like tattoos, vasectomies are probably best followed-through on after at least a year of thinking about it, and/or never.

The Best Links:

1. Young Men Getting The Snip — Vasectomies Are The New Condoms
2. My Vasectomy: Here’s What It Looks Like (NSFW)

TECH BUZZ: A 14-year-old who talks like a chipmunk has YouTube’s fourth most-subscribed video channel. If you haven’t heard of Fred, don’t sweat it — you’re probably older than 14. And you may have an aversion to listening to someone screech instead of speak. But 270,000 YouTube subscribers can’t be wrong, can they? Can they!?

The Best Links:

1. Fred Loses His Meds (Most Popular Video)
2. Fred’s Mom is Missing
3. Kids Programming Hits YouTube — 4th Most Subscribed After Just Two Months
4. Best Week Ever Inexplicably Loves This Guy
5. YouTube - Fred’s Channel
6. Fred Goes to the Dentist
7. Fred Goes Swimming

CULTURE BUZZ: A long-simmering YouTube meme: The boob punch. G4’s Attack of the Show categorizes the various types of boob punches, from the comedic mis-slap to the potentially tissue-damaging. Disturbing trend or hilarious meme? You get to judge.

The Best Links:

1. “Cuz you know punching a woman in the breasts is so funny, har har.”
2. What Is This Boob Punching You Speak Of?
3. No One Punches Boob Like Michael Cera
4. Self Boob Punching
5. Surprise Boob Slap!!
6. The Most Timid Boob Punch of This Collection
7. This Looks Painful
8. This Actually Just Looks Like Abuse
9. Boob Punching. It Makes Us Giggle

BUSINESS BUZZ: The restaurant chain best known for not serving Asians and smelling like old people is trying to woo a younger, late-night crowd by “playing rock after midnight, allowing servers to dress casually, and serving bar food like ‘potachoes.’” (Fried food with silly names - just like on Cheers!) They’ve also launched a site whereupon you vote for your favorite band, and the winner receives free Denny’s while on tour. So if you’ve ever thought about picking up a guitar, now might be the time. Just imagine: cheering fans, tireless groupies, and free mushroom swiss chopped steak. Every. Single. Day.

The Best Links:

1. “Added in the Wee Hours for the Wee Ones: a Dimly Lit Club Ambience and a Waitstaff That Will Swap Black Slacks and Collared Shirts for T-shirts and … Dungarees!”
2. Denny’s Wants to Rock ‘n’ Roll All Night Long [and They Even Started a Weblog!]
3. “So, if You See Your Favorite Myspace Band This Summer and They’re Looking a Little Portly and Lethargic, You Can Bet You’ll See Them at Denny’s After the Show.”
4. Suck It, Pitchfork. Denny’s Knows the Cool Bands.
5. Now What Exactly is a “Cheesy Four Pack?”
6. Don’t Feel Left Out, Blacks. Denny’s Hates You Too!
7. Crazy Party and Mini BBQ Hamburgers: 10 Miles

CULTURE BUZZ: Dolls made to resemble kids with Down Syndrome: politically correct attempt at inclusion or cringe-inducing marketing plan at the expense of kids? Some might consider these dolls offensive, but has anyone seen the Bratz dolls? Those things are straight-up creepy. (Honestly, when did little girls start aspiring to look like drag queens? Oh yeah .)

The Best Links:

1. “Wonderfully Unique” Dolls
2. Just Remember You’re Going to Hell for About a Billion Other Reasons
3. Then Again, You Can Make Them Yourself…Right? [Um, the Worst Thing You’ll Ever See.]
4. “The Whole Thing Just Reeks of a Bad Joke”
5. Yup, They’re Going to Hell
6. And Then There’s Benny, the Anatomical Teddy Bear
7. How Do You Sell Down Syndrome Dolls in Brazil? Easy! Soap Opera!

TECH BUZZ: The omnipresent video site has debuted a new feature, which allows for interactive commentary layered directly into the clips. It’s like Choose Your Own Adventure, but without the requirement of turning pages! Kids get it so easy these days…

The Best Links:

1. Example: An Interactive Card Trick
2. The New Beta Feature: Video Annotations
3. YouTube Begins to Pimp Its Player
4. Brilliant Questions: What Are Video Annotations?
5. An Annotated Skydive

SCIENCE BUZZ: Childhood obesity rates among American kids may have finally leveled off after years of rising steadily. Perhaps parents have finally learned that three cheeseburgers isn’t going to help Jack and Jill climb the hill to fetch a pail of water (unless, of course, it’s a pail of cheeseburgers).

The Best Links:

1. Have We Hit a Plateau Or Just a Temporary Hill?
2. Despite the Alleged Plateau, 30% of American Kids Being Obese Could Spell Catastrophe
3. Mexican and African-American Girls Prove Ethnic Disparities Among Obese Kids